Here’s a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl could want in her life, except for good taste in men!
Who dances at the wedding, weeps at the funeral.
Bride. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
—Ambrose Bierce (1842–1913) American Short-story Writer, Journalist
Many people spend more time in planning the wedding than they do in planning the marriage.
—Zig Ziglar (1926–2012) American Author
Wedding is destiny, and hanging likewise.
It is difficult to repay the gifts you get at a wedding or a funeral.
Girls usually have a paper mache face on their wedding day.
—Colette (1873–1954) French Novelist, Performer
A gloomy guest fits not a wedding feast.
—Friedrich Schiller (1759–1805) German Poet, Dramatist
Talk six times with the same single lady and you may get the wedding dress ready.
—Lord Byron (George Gordon Byron) (1788–1824) English Romantic Poet
There are three things that have to be done quickly: burying the dead, opening the door for a stranger, and fixing your daughter’s wedding.
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. What do you mean? responded her mother. Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came back with another.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
—Groucho Marx (1890–1977) American Actor, Comedian, Singer
It’s not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She’s not marrying the best man.
He believes that marriage and a career don’t mix. So after the wedding he plans to quit his job.
I dreamed of a wedding of elaborate elegance; a church filled with flowers and friends. I asked him what kind of wedding he wished for; he said one that would make me his wife.
The pearls of a bride on her wedding day are the tears that will be shed later.
If someone says “There is a wedding ceremony in the clouds,” then the women would soon arrive with their ladders.
A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes.
—Joseph Addison (1672–1719) English Essayist, Poet, Playwright, Politician
At her wedding, the bride eats the least.
It is amazing at how small a price may the wedding ring be placed upon a worthless hand; but, by the beauty of our law, what heaps of gold are indispensable to take it off!
—Douglas William Jerrold (1803–57) English Writer, Dramatist, Wit
That is ever the way. ‘Tis all jealousy to the bride and good wishes to the corpse.
—J. M. Barrie (1860–1937) Scottish Novelist, Dramatist
A princely marriage is the brilliant edition of a universal fact, and, as such, it rivets mankind.
—Walter Bagehot (1826–77) English Economist, Journalist
I… chose my wife as she did her wedding-gown, not for a fine glossy surface, but such qualities as would wear well.
—Oliver Goldsmith (1730–74) Irish Novelist, Playwright, Poet
The most dangerous food to eat is a wedding cake.
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
A wedding is like a funeral, but with musicians.
Attend funerals avoid weddings.