Inspirational Quotations

Inspirational Quotes by Fred Allen (American Comedian)

Fred Allen (1894–1956,) born John Florence Sullivan, was an American comedian and radio personality known for his quick wit, satire, and influence on the golden age of American radio. One of the most popular radio stars of the 1930s and 1940s, he left a lasting impact on comedic writing and performance.

Born in Cambridge, Massachusetts, Allen grew up in a working-class family and showed an early interest in the performing arts. He attended Boston University, where he studied law, but soon shifted his focus to comedy. After performing in various vaudeville shows and working as a stand-up comedian, his sharp humor and skill in crafting satirical commentary caught the attention of radio producers. He made his radio début in the 1920s and quickly became a prominent figure in the industry.

Allen’s success peaked with his long-running radio program The Fred Allen Show (1932–49,) where he showcased his signature dry humor and clever sketches. The show, known for its satirical style, often poked fun at the absurdities of modern life and lampooned the entertainment industry, politics, and consumer culture. His comedic timing and writing were admired by audiences and fellow performers alike.

His published works include Treadmill to Oblivion (1939,) a witty commentary on American society, and Much Ado About Me (1953,) an autobiography reflecting on his career and the evolving landscape of comedy.

More: Wikipedia • READ: Works by Fred Allen

Television is a device that permits people who haven’t anything to do to watch people who can’t do anything.
—Fred Allen

The last time I saw him he was walking down lover’s lane holding his own hand.
—Fred Allen
Topics: Pride

An income tax form is like a laundry list-either way you lose your shirt.
—Fred Allen
Topics: Taxes

I don’t want to own anything that won’t fit into my coffin.
—Fred Allen
Topics: Contentment

Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.
—Fred Allen
Topics: Party

I’d rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four.
—Fred Allen
Topics: Women

An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
—Fred Allen
Topics: Hollywood

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
—Fred Allen
Topics: Exercise

Committee—a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done.
—Fred Allen
Topics: Committees, Togetherness

He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.
—Fred Allen
Topics: Dreams

It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually supportive alliances through which partners recognize their dependence on each other for the achievement of shared and private goals.
—Fred Allen
Topics: Cooperation, Help

I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and—I can’t remember what the third thing is.
—Fred Allen
Topics: Memory

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
—Fred Allen
Topics: Hollywood

Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
—Fred Allen
Topics: Christians, Christianity

Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year.
—Fred Allen
Topics: Fashion

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
—Fred Allen
Topics: Fame

The American arrives in Paris with a few French phrases he has culled from a conversational guide or picked up from a friend who owns a beret.
—Fred Allen
Topics: Tourism, Americans, Travel

Condensed milk is wonderful. I don’t see how they can get a cow to sit down on those little cans.
—Fred Allen
Topics: Eating

We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
—Fred Allen
Topics: Comedy

I don’t have to look up my family tree, because I know that I’m the sap.
—Fred Allen
Topics: Ancestry, Ancestors, Family

The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
—Fred Allen
Topics: Cities, City Life

All I know about humor is that I don’t know anything about it.
—Fred Allen
Topics: Ignorance

The world is a grindstone and life is your nose.
—Fred Allen
Topics: Life

Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They’re afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
—Fred Allen
Topics: Pride

An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
—Fred Allen
Topics: Advertising

A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 am and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 p.m. to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.
—Fred Allen

Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
—Fred Allen

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
—Fred Allen
Topics: Imitation, Television

A gentleman is any man who wouldn’t hit a woman with his hat on.
—Fred Allen

Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
—Fred Allen
Topics: Business

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