Inspirational Quotations

Inspirational Quotes by Henny Youngman (American Comedian, Violinist)

Henry “Henny” Youngman (1906–98,) a British-born American comedian and violinist, earned his enduring moniker as the ‘King of the One-Liners’ over a remarkable career spanning seven decades. His comedic genius made him a beloved figure in the world of stand-up comedy.

Born in London, England, Youngman’s trademark style was characterized by the rapid-fire delivery of one-liners, often featuring his signature phrase, “Take my wife, please.” His razor-sharp wit and impeccable comedic timing established him as a fixture in vaudeville, radio, and later, television.

Youngman’s impact resonated through his dynamic performances. He became a household name through appearances on iconic shows like The Ed Sullivan Show and The Tonight Show, where his quick and humorous quips endeared him to a broad audience.

Beyond his comedic prowess, Youngman showcased his musical talents as an accomplished violinist, adding another layer to his multifaceted career. In recognition of his contributions, he received a Grammy Award for his comedic album 90 Years of Great Laughs in 1994.

More: Wikipedia • READ: Works by Henny Youngman

You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
—Henny Youngman
Topics: Love

I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn’t come in until half-past five.
—Henny Youngman

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
—Henny Youngman
Topics: Shopping

When I told my doctor I couldn’t afford an operation, he offered to touch up my X rays.
—Henny Youngman
Topics: Health

What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money.
—Henny Youngman

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
—Henny Youngman

If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for in the morning, sleep late.
—Henny Youngman
Topics: Morning, Regret, Sleeping

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up—they have no holidays.
—Henny Youngman
Topics: Holidays

What is a home without children?. Quiet.
—Henny Youngman
Topics: Children, One liners

I take my wife everywhere I go. She always finds her way back.
—Henny Youngman
Topics: Wives, Marriage

I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o clock.
—Henny Youngman
Topics: Money

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
—Henny Youngman
Topics: Alcohol, Drinking

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
—Henny Youngman
Topics: Marriage, Secrets

My wife is a light eater. As soon as it’s light, she starts to eat.
—Henny Youngman
Topics: Weight, Diet

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