When I drink, I think; and when I think, I drink.
—Francois Rabelais (1494–1553) French Humanist, Satirist
He is a drunkard who takes more than three glasses though he be not drunk.
—Epictetus (55–135) Ancient Greek Philosopher
Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed be the facts.
—Finley Peter Dunne (1867–1936) American Humorist, Journalist, Creator of “Mr. Dooley”
It is immoral to get drunk because the headache comes after the drinking, but if the headache came first and the drunkenness afterwards, it would be moral to get drunk.
—Samuel Butler (1835–1902) British Victorian Novelist, Essayist, Critic
For art to exist, for any sort of aesthetic activity or perception to exist, a certain physiological precondition is indispensable: intoxication.
—Friedrich Nietzsche (1844–1900) German Philosopher, Scholar, Writer
Alcohol is like love. The first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. After that you take the girl’s clothes off.
—Raymond Chandler (1888–1959) American Novelist
Drunkenness is temporary suicide: the happiness that it brings is merely negative, a momentary cessation of unhappiness.
—Bertrand A. Russell (1872–1970) British Philosopher, Mathematician, Social Critic
Under a tattered cloak you will generally find a good drinker.
—Spanish Proverb
There is a devil in every berry of the grape.
—The Holy Quran Sacred Scripture of Islam
Where does one not find that bland degeneration which beer produces in the spirit!
—Friedrich Nietzsche (1844–1900) German Philosopher, Scholar, Writer
Wine is a treacherous friend who you must always be on guard for.
—Christian Nestell Bovee (1820–1904) American Writer, Aphorist
A sudden violent jolt of it has been known to stop the victim’s watch, snap his suspenders and crack his glass eye right across.
—Irvin S. Cobb (1876–1944) American Humorist, Writer, Columnist
Malt does more than Milton can to justify God’s ways to man.
—A. E. Housman (1859–1936) English Poet, Classical Scholar
One reason I don’t drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.
—Nancy Astor, Viscountess Astor (1879–1964) British Politician, Socialite
The piano has been drinking, not me.
—Tom Waits (b.1949) American Singer, Songwriter, Actor
They who drink beer will think beer.
—Washington Irving (1783–1859) American Essayist, Biographer, Historian
There is nothing which has yet been contrived by man, by which so much happiness is produced as by a good tavern.
—Samuel Johnson (1709–84) British Essayist
The sway of alcohol over mankind is unquestionably due to its power to stimulate the mystical faculties of human nature, usually crushed to earth by the cold facts and dry criticisms of the sober hour. Sobriety diminishes, discriminates, and says no; drunkenness expands, unites, and says yes.
—William James (1842–1910) American Philosopher, Psychologist, Physician
O thou invisible spirit of wine! if thou hast no name to be known by, let us call thee devil!
—William Shakespeare (1564–1616) British Playwright
The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
—W. C. Fields (1880–1946) American Comedian, Actor, Writer
Drunkenness is nothing but a self-induced state of insanity.
—Seneca the Younger (Lucius Annaeus Seneca) (c.4 BCE–65 CE) Roman Stoic Philosopher, Statesman, Tragedian
Of all vices, drinking is the most incompatible with greatness.
—Walter Scott (1771–1832) Scottish Novelist, Poet, Playwright, Lawyer
The first glass for myself; the second for my friends; the third for good humor; and the fourth for mine enemies.
—William Temple (1881–1944) English Theologian, Archbishop
A man who exposes himself when he is intoxicated, has not the art of getting drunk.
—Samuel Johnson (1709–84) British Essayist
Candy, is dandy, but Liquor, is quicker.
—Ogden Nash (1902–71) American Writer of Sophisticated Light Verse
Some men are like musical glasses; to produce their finest tones you must keep them wet.
—Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772–1834) English Poet, Literary Critic, Philosopher
It provokes the desire but it takes away the performance. Therefore much drink may be said to be an equivocator with lechery: it makes him and it mars him; it sets him on and it takes him off.
—William Shakespeare (1564–1616) British Playwright
The hangover became a part of the day as well allowed-for as the Spanish siesta.
—Unknown
What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for.
—Irish Proverb
This is the great fault of wine; it first trips up the feet: it is a cunning wrestler.
—Plautus (Titus Maccius Plautus) (c.250–184 BCE) Roman Comic Playwright
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