A drinker has a hole under his nose that all his money runs into.
—Thomas Fuller (1608–61) English Cleric, Historian
They who drink beer will think beer.
—Washington Irving (1783–1859) American Essayist, Biographer, Historian
When a woman drinks it’s as if an animal were drinking, or a child. Alcoholism is scandalous in a woman, and a female alcoholic is rare, a serious matter. It’s a slur on the divine in our nature.
—Marguerite Duras (1914–96) French Novelist, Playwright
Bring in the bottled lightning, a clean tumbler, and a corkscrew.
—Charles Dickens (1812–70) English Novelist
Alcohol doesn’t console, it doesn’t fill up anyone’s psychological gaps, all it replaces is the lack of God. It doesn’t comfort man. On the contrary, it encourages him in his folly, it transports him to the supreme regions where he is master of his own destiny.
—Marguerite Duras (1914–96) French Novelist, Playwright
Many a woman drives a man to drink… water.
—Unknown
You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
—W. C. Fields (1880–1946) American Actor, Comedian, Writer
Candy, is dandy, but Liquor, is quicker.
—Ogden Nash (1902–71) American Writer of Sophisticated Light Verse
Don’t you drink? I notice you speak slightingly of the bottle. I have drunk since I was fifteen and few things have given me more pleasure. When you work hard all day with your head and know you must work again the next day what else can change your ideas and make them run on a different plane like whisky? When you are cold and wet what else can warm you? Before an attack who can say anything that gives you the momentary well-being that rum does? The only time it isn’t good for you is when you write or when you fight. You have to do that cold. But it always helps my shooting. Modern life, too, is often a mechanical oppression and liquor is the only mechanical relief.
—Ernest Hemingway (1899–1961) American Author, Journalist, Short Story Writer
The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.
—William Butler Yeats (1865–1939) Irish Poet, Dramatist
It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.
—W. C. Fields (1880–1946) American Actor, Comedian, Writer
A man who exposes himself when he is intoxicated, has not the art of getting drunk.
—Samuel Johnson (1709–84) British Essayist
Wine is a treacherous friend who you must always be on guard for.
—Christian Nestell Bovee (1820–1904) American Writer, Aphorist
I told you, sir, they were red-hot with drinking; so full of valor that they smote the air, for breathing in their faces, beat the ground for kissing of their feet.
—William Shakespeare (1564–1616) British Playwright
Drink! for you know not whence you came nor why: drink! for you know not why you go, nor where.
—Omar Khayyam (1048–1123) Persian Mathematician
No other human being, no woman, no poem or music, book or painting can replace alcohol in its power to give man the illusion of real creation.
—Marguerite Duras (1914–96) French Novelist, Playwright
Wine is a turncoat; first a friend and then an enemy.
—Henry Fielding (1707–54) English Novelist, Dramatist
Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed be the facts.
—Finley Peter Dunne (1867–1936) American Author, Writer, Humorist
The first glass for myself; the second for my friends; the third for good humor; and the fourth for mine enemies.
—William Temple (1881–1944) British Clergyman, Theologian
Wine hath drowned more men than the sea.
—Thomas Fuller (1608–61) English Cleric, Historian
My experience through life has convinced me that, while moderation and temperance in all things are commendable and beneficial, abstinence from spirituous liquors is the best safeguard of morals and health.
—Robert E. Lee (1807–70) Confederate General during American Civil War
The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
—W. C. Fields (1880–1946) American Actor, Comedian, Writer
It’s a great advantage not to drink among hard-drinking people. You can hold your tongue and, moreover, you can time any little irregularity of your own so that everybody else is so blind that they don’t see or care.
—Unknown
I never drink water. I’m afraid it will become habit-forming.
—W. C. Fields (1880–1946) American Actor, Comedian, Writer
Old wine and friends improve with age.
—Italian Proverb
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
—Winston Churchill (1874–1965) British Head of State, Political leader, Historian, Journalist, Author
The hangover became a part of the day as well allowed-for as the Spanish siesta.
—Unknown
When I played drunks I had to remain sober because I didn’t know how to play them when I was drunk.
—Richard Burton (1925–84) Welsh Actor
Of all vices, drinking is the most incompatible with greatness.
—Walter Scott (1771–1832) Scottish Novelist, Poet, Playwright, Lawyer
What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for.
—Irish Proverb
The sway of alcohol over mankind is unquestionably due to its power to stimulate the mystical faculties of human nature, usually crushed to earth by the cold facts and dry criticisms of the sober hour. Sobriety diminishes, discriminates, and says no; drunkenness expands, unites, and says yes.
—William James (1842–1910) American Philosopher, Psychologist, Physician
Alcohol is like love. The first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. After that you take the girl’s clothes off.
—Raymond Chandler (1888–1959) American Novelist
This is the great fault of wine; it first trips up the feet: it is a cunning wrestler.
—Plautus (Titus Maccius Plautus) (c.250–184 BCE) Roman Comic Playwright
Ale, man, ale’s the stuff to drink for fellows whom it hurts to think.
—A. E. Housman (1859–1936) English Poet, Classical Scholar
I only drink to make other people seem more interesting.
—George Jean Nathan (1882–1958) American Drama Critic, Editor
Sometimes too much drink is barely enough.
—Mark Twain (1835–1910) American Humorist
O God, that men should put an enemy in their mouths to steal away their brains! That we should with joy, pleasance, revel, and applause transform ourselves into beasts!
—William Shakespeare (1564–1616) British Playwright
Drink not the third glass, which thou canst not tame, when once it is within thee.
—George Herbert (1593–1633) Welsh Anglican Poet, Orator, Clergyman
It is immoral to get drunk because the headache comes after the drinking, but if the headache came first and the drunkenness afterwards, it would be moral to get drunk.
—Samuel Butler
I can’t say whether we had more wit among us now than usual, but I am certain we had more laughing, which answered the end as well.
—Oliver Goldsmith (1730–74) Irish Novelist, Playwright, Poet
Let us have wine and women, mirth and laughter. Sermons and soda water the day after.
—Lord Byron (George Gordon Byron) (1788–1824) English Romantic Poet
O thou invisible spirit of wine! if thou hast no name to be known by, let us call thee devil!
—William Shakespeare (1564–1616) British Playwright
There is this to be said in favor of drinking, that it takes the drunkard first out of society, then out of the world.
—Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803–82) American Philosopher
I am only a beer teetotaler, not a champagne teetotaler. I do not like beer.
—George Bernard Shaw (1856–1950) Irish Playwright
Wine is bottled poetry.
—Robert Louis Stevenson (1850–94) Scottish Novelist
For art to exist, for any sort of aesthetic activity or perception to exist, a certain physiological precondition is indispensable: intoxication.
—Friedrich Nietzsche (1844–1900) German Philosopher, Scholar, Writer
A prohibitionist is the sort of man one couldn’t care to drink with, even if he drank.
—H. L. Mencken (1880–1956) American Journalist, Literary Critic
I believe that water is the only drink for a wise man.
—Henry David Thoreau (1817–62) American Philosopher
Wine is a mocker, and strong drink is raging; and who is deceived by it is not wise.
—The Holy Bible Scripture in the Christian Faith
A sudden violent jolt of it has been known to stop the victim’s watch, snap his suspenders and crack his glass eye right across.
—Irvin S. Cobb (1876–1944) American Humorist, Short Story Writer, Columnist