Better belly burst than good liquor be lost.
—Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) Irish Satirist
You are not really drunk if you are laying on the floor without holding on.
—Anonymous
Of all vices, drinking is the most incompatible with greatness.
—Walter Scott (1771–1832) Scottish Novelist, Poet, Playwright, Lawyer
One drink is too many for me and a thousand not enough.
—Brendan Behan (1923–64) Irish Poet, Novelist, Playwright
Candy, is dandy, but Liquor, is quicker.
—Ogden Nash (1902–71) American Writer of Sophisticated Light Verse
Man being reasonable must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication. Glory, the grape, love, gold – in these are sunk the hopes of all men and of every nation.
—Lord Byron (George Gordon Byron) (1788–1824) English Romantic Poet
Ale, man, ale’s the stuff to drink for fellows whom it hurts to think.
—A. E. Housman (1859–1936) English Poet, Classical Scholar
Sometimes too much drink is barely enough.
—Mark Twain (1835–1910) American Humorist
Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed be the facts.
—Finley Peter Dunne (1867–1936) American Author, Writer, Humorist
I believe that water is the only drink for a wise man.
—Henry David Thoreau (1817–62) American Philosopher
The sway of alcohol over mankind is unquestionably due to its power to stimulate the mystical faculties of human nature, usually crushed to earth by the cold facts and dry criticisms of the sober hour. Sobriety diminishes, discriminates, and says no; drunkenness expands, unites, and says yes.
—William James (1842–1910) American Philosopher, Psychologist, Physician
A drinker has a hole under his nose that all his money runs into.
—Thomas Fuller (1608–61) English Cleric, Historian
The first glass for myself; the second for my friends; the third for good humor; and the fourth for mine enemies.
—William Temple (1881–1944) British Clergyman, Theologian
When I played drunks I had to remain sober because I didn’t know how to play them when I was drunk.
—Richard Burton (1925–84) Welsh Actor
Many a woman drives a man to drink… water.
—Unknown
Let us have wine and women, mirth and laughter. Sermons and soda water the day after.
—Lord Byron (George Gordon Byron) (1788–1824) English Romantic Poet
Drink! for you know not whence you came nor why: drink! for you know not why you go, nor where.
—Omar Khayyam (1048–1123) Persian Mathematician
I am only a beer teetotaler, not a champagne teetotaler. I do not like beer.
—George Bernard Shaw (1856–1950) Irish Playwright
Wine is bottled poetry.
—Robert Louis Stevenson (1850–94) Scottish Novelist
Under a tattered cloak you will generally find a good drinker.
—Spanish Proverb
The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.
—William Butler Yeats (1865–1939) Irish Poet, Dramatist
It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.
—W. C. Fields (1880–1946) American Actor, Comedian, Writer
Wine is a turncoat; first a friend and then an enemy.
—Henry Fielding (1707–54) English Novelist, Dramatist
You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
—W. C. Fields (1880–1946) American Actor, Comedian, Writer
Drink not the third glass, which thou canst not tame, when once it is within thee.
—George Herbert (1593–1633) Welsh Anglican Poet, Orator, Clergyman
Some men are like musical glasses; to produce their finest tones you must keep them wet.
—Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772–1834) English Poet, Literary Critic, Philosopher
There is a devil in every berry of the grape.
—The Holy Quran Sacred Scripture of Islam
If merely “feeling good” could decide, drunkenness would be the supremely valid human experience.
—William James (1842–1910) American Philosopher, Psychologist, Physician
No other human being, no woman, no poem or music, book or painting can replace alcohol in its power to give man the illusion of real creation.
—Marguerite Duras (1914–96) French Novelist, Playwright
It is immoral to get drunk because the headache comes after the drinking, but if the headache came first and the drunkenness afterwards, it would be moral to get drunk.
—Samuel Butler