Inspirational Quotations

Inspirational Quotes by Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw) (American Humorist)

Josh Billings (1818–85,) pseudonym of Henry Wheeler Shaw, was an American humorist. His philosophical remarks, published as newspaper articles, books, and comic lectures, were widely popular after the Civil War, perhaps second only to Mark Twain. Shaw’s reputation has not endured so well with later generations.

Born in Lanesboro, Massachusetts, Shaw tried various livelihoods before becoming an auctioneer and a land agent in Poughkeepsie, New York. At age forty-five, he started contributing humorous columns to a local newspaper under the name “Josh Billings.” They didn’t appeal until he altered his style and began using phonetic spelling to signify a rural dialect. He changed an article he had written as “Essay on the Mule” to “A Essa on the Meul bi Josh Billings”—this was printed in a New York City newspaper and made him immediately well known.

A popular newspaper columnist, Shaw published lighthearted almanacs and collections of wisecracks. He relied heavily on purposeful misspelling, fractured grammar, malapropisms, futile logic, and anticlimax. This technique was widespread among contemporaneous comic writers who assumed the role of “cracker-barrel philosophers.”

Shaw’s popular books included Josh Billings, His Sayings (1866,) Josh Billings on Ice (1868,) Josh Billings’ Farmers’ Allminax (1870,) Everybody’s Friend (1874,) Josh Billings’ Trump Kards (1877,) Old Probability: Perhaps Rain—Perhaps Not (1879,) and Josh Billings Struggling with Things (1881.)

More: Wikipedia • READ: Works by Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt of, not swallowed.
—Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)
Topics: Flattery

There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply.
—Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)
Topics: Experience

It is a statistical fact that the wicked work harder to reach hell than the righteous do to enter heaven.
—Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)
Topics: Hypocrisy, Defects, Wickedness, Evil

Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has.
—Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)
Topics: Prejudice

I am a poor man, but I have this consolation: I am poor by accident, not by design.
—Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)
Topics: The Poor, Poverty

A good place to visit, but a poor place to stay.
—Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)
Topics: Travel

There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.
—Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)
Topics: Memory, Memories

Remember the poor, it costs nothing.
—Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)
Topics: Poverty

As a general thing, when the woman wears the pants in the family, she has a good right to them.
—Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)
Topics: Marriage

The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust. – Billings, Josh.
—Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)
Topics: Control, Self-Control

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
—Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)
Topics: Dogs, Animals

Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn’t be any fun living in it, or profit.
—Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)
Topics: Fools, Foolishness, Profit

It ain’t often that a man’s reputation outlasts his money.
—Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)
Topics: Reputation

Every man has his follies—and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.
—Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)
Topics: Mistakes, Perfection

Don’t take the bull by the horns, take him by the tail; then you can let go when you want to.
—Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)
Topics: Control

There are two kinds of fools: those who can’t change their opinions and those who won’t.
—Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)
Topics: Foolishness, Fools

The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear.
—Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)
Topics: Worry, Anxiety

Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal.
—Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)
Topics: Shame

There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing.
—Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)

Woman’s influence is powerful, especially when she wants something.
—Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)
Topics: Power

When a man gets talking about himself, he seldom fails to be eloquent and often reaches the sublime.
—Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)
Topics: Eloquence, Conversation

In youth we run into difficulties. In old age difficulties run into us.
—Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)
Topics: Age, Aging, Youth, Difficulty

Be like a postage stamp – stick to one thing until you get there.
—Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)
Topics: Endurance, Resolve, Perseverance

Health is like munny, we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it.
—Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)
Topics: Health

The man who ain’t got an enemy is really poor.
—Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)
Topics: Enemy

The time to pray is not when we are in a tight spot but just as soon as we get out of it.
—Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)
Topics: Prayer

The trouble with most folks ain’t so much their ignorance as knowing so many things that ain’t so.
—Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)
Topics: Knowledge

One of the best temporary cures for pride and affection is seasickness; a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs.
—Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)
Topics: Pride, Affectation

Don’t put off till tomorrow what can be enjoyed today.
—Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)
Topics: Procrastination

I have lived in this world just long enough to look carefully the second time into things that I am most certain of the first time.
—Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)

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