Inspirational Quotations

Inspirational Quotes by W. C. Fields (American Comedian)

W. C. Fields (1880–1946,) fully William Claude Dukenfield, was an American comedian, actor, and writer known for his distinctive, acerbic humor and mastery of slapstick comedy. He became one of the most popular and influential comedic actors of the early 20th century, famed for his roles in film, his stage performances, and his sharp wit.

Born in Darby, Pennsylvania, as William Claude Dukenfield, Fields was the son of a working-class family. He attended Central High School in Philadelphia but dropped out at a young age to pursue a career in entertainment. Initially working as a juggler and circus performer, he honed his comedic timing and physical comedy skills. His early work in vaudeville provided a platform to develop his on-stage persona, characterized by his dry wit, love of alcohol, and disdain for authority.

Fields’ comedic style was marked by his cynical view of the world, which endeared him to audiences. Despite his persona as a misanthropic drinker, his performances revealed a deeper complexity, blending warmth and vulnerability with his abrasive exterior. Gaining fame in Hollywood in the 1920s, he transitioned to film, becoming one of the era’s top comedic actors. His roles in films such as It’s a Gift (1934,) The Bank Dick (1940,) and My Little Chickadee (1940) cemented his reputation as a master of comedy. Known for his impeccable timing, absurd situations, and sharp one-liners, he became a cultural icon. He also wrote several books, including W. C. Fields by Himself (1947,) a posthumous autobiography showcasing his sharp humor and offbeat perspective on life.

More: Wikipedia • READ: Works by W. C. Fields

I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Worry

My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
—W. C. Fields

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
—W. C. Fields

Somebody left the cork out of my lunch.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Alcoholism, Alcohol

Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Life and Living

Start every day with a smile, and get it over with.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Smile, Smiles

Show me a great actor and I’ll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you’ve seen the devil.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Acting, Actors

I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: City Life, Cities

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Alcohol, Alcoholism

If at first, you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.
—W. C. Fields

I never drink water. I’m afraid it will become habit-forming.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Alcoholism, Alcohol

After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Health

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: World

I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Alcoholism, Alcohol

W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. “I’m looking for a loop-hole,” he explained.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Bible

Horse sense is a good judgement which keeps horses from betting on people.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Gambling

It’s morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Morality

During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Wine

You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Alcoholism, Alcohol

It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Confidence

Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Worry

It was a woman that drove me to drink, but unfortunately I never had the chance to thank her.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Alcohol

Any man who hates children can’t be all bad.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Children

I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Elections, Voting

I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Greatness

It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Justice

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink; that is the one thing I am indebted to her for.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Wine

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
—W. C. Fields

A woman drove me to drink, and I’ll be a son-of-a-gun but I never even wrote to thank her.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Wine

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Horses

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