Milton Berle (1908–2002,) originally Milton Berlinger, was an American comedian and actor who starred on radio, stage, movies, and television. He is most famous for the Texaco Star Theater 1948–56 (it was renamed The Milton Berle Show in 1955.)
Born in New York City, Berle began his vocation as a child performer in vaudeville and later performed as a comic actor in over 50 silent films and Broadway. His wacky but warmhearted comedy style won him a loyal following, and he was a regular on many radio programs. His variety show Texaco Star Theater made the new medium of television famous, and he was nicknamed ‘Mr. Television’ and ‘Uncle Miltie.’
Berle’s books include Out of My Trunk (1945,) Milton Berle: An Autobiography (1974,) and B. S. I Love You: Sixty Funny Years with the Famous and the Infamous (1988.)
More: Wikipedia • READ: Works by Milton Berle
A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.
—Milton Berle
Topics: Marriage
If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.
—Milton Berle
Topics: Opportunities, Opportunity, Work, Graduation
Committee—a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours.
—Milton Berle
Topics: Committees
For every student with a spark of brilliance, there is about ten with ignition trouble.
—Milton Berle
Topics: Intelligence
I’d rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are;because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star.I’d rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far;for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are.
—Milton Berle
Topics: Attitude
This is how it is today: The teachers are afraid of the principals. The principals are afraid of the superintendents. The superintendents are afraid of the board of education. The board is afraid of the parents. The parents are afraid of the children. The children are afraid of nothing!
—Milton Berle
Topics: Education
If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
—Milton Berle
Topics: Children, Mothers
My wife and I have a perfect understanding. I don’t try to run her life, and I don’t try to run mine.
—Milton Berle
Topics: Marriage
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