- ‘Mark Twain: A Life‘ by Ron Powers
- ‘Mark Twain: The Complete Novels‘ by Mark Twain
- ‘On the Decay of the Art of Lying‘ by Mark Twain
- ‘The Wit and Wisdom of Mark Twain: A Book of Quotations‘ by Mark Twain
- ‘Adventures of Huckleberry Finn‘ by Mark Twain
Inspirational Quotes by Mark Twain (American Humorist)
Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.
New Year’s Day: now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual . . . New Year’s is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls, and humbug resolutions.
Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
We are discreet sheep; we wait to see how the drove is going, and then go with the drove.
The trade of critic, in literature, music, and the drama, is the most degraded of all trades
We [Americans] are the lavishest and showiest and most luxury-loving people on the earth; and at our masthead we fly one true and honest symbol, the gaudiest flag the world has ever seen.
Education consists mainly in what we have unlearned.
There are no standards of taste in wine, cigars, poetry, prose, etc. Each man’s own taste is the standard, and a majority vote cannot decide for him or in any slightest degree affect the supremacy of his own standard
In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.
Topics: Funny quotes
Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.
Forget and forgive. This is not difficult when properly understood. It means forget inconvenient duties, then forgive yourself for forgetting. By rigid practice and stern determination, it comes easy.
Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
Consider well the proportions of things. It is better to be a young June bug than an old bird of paradise.
Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else.
Life is like riding a bicycle. You don’t fall off unless you stop pedaling.
Worrying about something is like paying interest on a debt you don’t even know if you owe.
A monarch, when good, is entitled to the consideration which we accord to a pirate who keeps Sunday School between crimes; when bad, he is entitled to none at all.
Topics: Royalty, Kings, Queens
Use the right word and not its second cousin
What is the most rigorous law of our being? Growth. No smallest atom of our moral, mental, or physical structure can stand still a year. It grows—it must grow; nothing can prevent it.
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
Topics: Encouragement, General, Ambition, Role models, Feelings, Greatness, Doing Your Best, Become, Great, Feel, Discouragement, Mentoring, People, Try
One learns people through the heart, not the eyes or the intellect.
Where a blood relation sobs, an intimate friend should choke up, a distant acquaintance should sigh, a stranger should merely fumble sympathetically with his handkerchief.
Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough.
The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.
There is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought—a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities!
Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a Congressman can.
The time to begin writing an article is when you have finished it to your satisfaction. By that time you begin to clearly and logically perceive what it is you really want to say.
Of the delights of this world, man cares most for sexual intercourse. He will go to any length for it-risk fortune, character, reputation, life itself.
Just the omission of Jane Austen’s books alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn’t a book in it.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
Last spring I stopped frolicking with the mince pie after midnight. Up to then I had always believed it wasn’t loaded.
Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that in the last you are going to see of him until he emerges on the other side of his Atlantic with his verb in his mouth.
Wondering Whom to Read Next?
- Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw) American Humorist
- Bill Bryson American Humorist
- Garrison Keillor American Broadcaster, Writer
- Leo Rosten Russian-born American Humorist
- Andy Rooney American Writer
- Thomas Masson American Journalist
- S. J. Perelman American Humorist
- Robert Quillen American Journalist
- Sam Levenson American Humorist
- Charles Farrar Browne (Artemus Ward) American Humorist