Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue.
—Scott Adams
A person with a flexible schedule and average resources will be happier than a rich person who has everything except a flexible schedule. Step one in your search for happiness is to continually work toward having control of your schedule.
—Scott Adams
You don’t have to be a “person of influence” to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they’ve taught me.
—Scott Adams
Topics: Influence, Teachers, Teaching
You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.
—Scott Adams
Topics: Stupidity
There’s a fine line between participation and mockery.
—Scott Adams
Topics: Criticism, Critics, Plagiarism
I believe everybody in the world should have guns. Citizens should have bazookas and rocket launchers too. I believe that all citizens should have their weapons of choice. However, I also believe that only I should have the ammunition. Because frankly, I wouldn’t trust the rest of the goobers with anything more dangerous than string.
—Scott Adams
If you notice a lot of attention being given to process improvement, it’s a sure sign that all the smart employees have left the company and those who remain are desperately trying to find a “process” that is so simple that the boneheads who remain can handle it.
—Scott Adams
The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the
—Scott Adams
Topics: Control
I’m slowly becoming a convert to the principle that you can’t motivate people to do things, you can only demotivate them. The primary job of the manager is not to empower but to remove obstacles.
—Scott Adams
Topics: Motivation
Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.
—Scott Adams
Topics: Problems
Technology: No Place for Wimps!
—Scott Adams
Topics: Technology
Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.
—Scott Adams
The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers.
—Scott Adams
Topics: Universe
My experience tells me that in this complicated world the simplest explanation is usually dead wrong. But I’ve noticed that the simplest explanation usually sounds right and is far more convincing than any complicated explanation could hope to be.
—Scott Adams
Topics: Rationality
There are many methods for predicting the future. For example, you can read horoscopes, tea leaves, tarot cards, or crystal balls. Collectively, these methods are known as “nutty methods.” Or you can put well-researched facts into sophisticated computer models, more commonly referred to as “a complete waste of time.”
—Scott Adams
Topics: Future
If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?
—Scott Adams
Topics: Stupidity
Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
—Scott Adams
Topics: Mistakes, To Be Born Everyday, Creativity, Art
Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.
—Scott Adams
Topics: Revenge
Remember there’s no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.
—Scott Adams
Topics: Kindness
Wondering Whom to Read Next?
- Charles M. Schulz American Cartoonist
- Ashleigh Brilliant British Cartoonist
- Lynda Barry American Cartoonist
- William Hogarth English Painter, Engraver
- Joan Rivers American Entertainer
- Steve Jobs American Entrepreneur
- Mort Walker American Comic Artist
- Don Herold American Humorist
- Theodor Seuss Geisel (‘Dr. Seuss’) American Children’s Books Writer
- James Fallows American Journalist
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