Harriet Beryl Braiker (1948–2004) was an American clinical psychologist and self-help author whose books discussed identity, resolving stress, and overcoming grief.
Born in Los Angeles, Braiker received a doctorate in clinical and social psychology from the University of California, Los Angeles. She worked as a social scientist at the RAND Corporation, examining health policies for the federal government before starting a private practice in 1980.
Braiker was the author of many successful popular psychology books. Her earliest works examined alcoholism, depression, and destructive relationships. The Type E Woman (1986) described the stresses faced by women who try to be “everything to everybody” and struggle with balancing career and family. The Disease to Please (2001) described a destructive propensity that propels people, particularly women, to attend to others, much to the detriment of their own well-being. Who’s Pulling Your Strings? (2003) was a study of manipulation.
Braiker was a frequent contributor to Working Woman and Lear’s magazine. She appeared on many radio and television talk shows, including The Oprah Winfrey Show, The Today Show, and Larry King Live.
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Conflict can and should be handled constructively; when it is, relationships benefit. Conflict avoidance is *not* the hallmark of a good relationship. On the contrary, it is a symptom of serious problems and of poor communication.
—Harriet B. Braiker
Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing.
—Harriet B. Braiker
Holding on to conditional beliefs about how people should behave toward you because of all you do for them will only set you up to feel disappointment, anger, and resentment to people in particular as well as disillusionment about others in general.
—Harriet B. Braiker
If you are an approval addict, your behaviour is as easy to control as that of any other junkie. All a manipulator need do is a simple two-step process: Give you what you crave, and then threaten to take it away. Every drug dealer in the world plays this game.
—Harriet B. Braiker