Cure the disease and kill the patient.
—Francis Bacon (1561–1626) English Philosopher
The best doctor is the one you run to and can’t find.
—Denis Diderot (1713–84) French Philosopher, Writer
Nature is better than a middling doctor.
—Common Proverb
If the doctor cures, the sun sees it; if he kills, the earth hides it.
—Scottish Proverb
Doctors don’t know everything really. They understand matter, not spirit. And you and I live in spirit.
—William Saroyan (1908–81) American Playwright, Novelist
A minor operation is one that is done on someone else.
—Richard Selzer (1928–2016) American Surgeon, Writer
The great secret of doctors, known only to their wives, but still hidden from the public, is that most things get better by themselves; most things, in fact, are better in the morning
—Lewis Thomas
A patient going to a doctor for his first visit was asked, And whom did you consult before coming to me? Only the village druggist, was the answer. And what sort of foolish advice did that numbskull give you? asked the doctor, his tone and manner denoting his contempt for the advice of the layman. Oh, replied his patient, with no malice aforethought, he told me to come and see you.
—Indian Proverb
He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients, no, three, I think—yes, it was three; I attended their funerals.
—Mark Twain (1835–1910) American Humorist
Instead of wishing to see more doctors made by women joining what there are, I wish to see as few doctors, either male or female, as possible. For, mark you, the women have made no improvement—they have only tried to be “men” and they have only succeeded in being third-rate men.
—Florence Nightingale (1820–1910) English Nurse
I observe the physician with the same diligence as the disease.
—John Donne (1572–1631) English Poet, Cleric
I tended to faint when I saw accident victims in the emergency ward, during surgery, or while drawing blood. On why he gave up medicine.
—Michael Crichton (1942–2008) American Novelist, Film Producer, Film Director, Screenwriter
Tidy fees are the most effective remedy, both for the doctor and the patient.
—Dario Fo (1926–2016) Italian Playwright, Actor
The relation nurse/doctor is even more complex than the relation patient/doctor.
—Gerhard Kocher (b.1939) Swiss Publicist, Aphorist
Tell me doctor, with all of your defenses, are there any provisions for an attack by killer bees?
—Unknown
The best doctor is the veterinarian. He can’t ask his patients what is the matter- he’s got to just know.
—Will Rogers (1879–1935) American Actor, Rancher, Humorist
The difference between an itch and an allergy is about one hundred bucks.
—Unknown
The physician can bury his mistakes, but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines—so they should go as far as possible from home to build their first buildings.
—Frank Lloyd Wright (1867–1959) American Architect
Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors.
—Gerhard Kocher (b.1939) Swiss Publicist, Aphorist
The doctor is to be feared more than the disease
—Latin Proverb
Deceive not thy physician, confessor, nor lawyer.
—George Herbert (1593–1633) Welsh Anglican Poet, Orator, Clergyman
Is my dentist not bound by the Geneva Convention?
—Gerhard Kocher (b.1939) Swiss Publicist, Aphorist
A great doctor kills more people than a great general.
—Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz (1646–1716) German Rationalist Philosopher, Mathematician
Time is generally the best doctor.
—Ovid (Publius Ovidius Naso) (c.43 BCE–c.18 CE) Roman Poet
For what Harley Street specialist has time to understand the body, let alone the mind or both in combination, when he is a slave to thirteen thousand a year?
—Virginia Woolf (1882–1941) English Novelist
Surgeons must be very careful. When they take the knife, underneath their fine incisions, stirs the culprit—life!
—Emily Dickinson (1830–86) American Poet
Men who are occupied in the restoration of health to other men, by the joint exertion of skill and humanity, are above all the great of the earth. They even partake of divinity, since to preserve and renew is almost as noble as to create.
—Voltaire (1694–1778) French Philosopher, Author
Every invalid is a physician.
—Irish Proverb
The young physician starts life with 20 drugs for each disease, and the old physician ends life with one drug for 20 diseases.
—William Osler (1849–1919) Canadian Physician
There are more old drunkards than old physicians.
—Francois Rabelais (1494–1553) French Humanist, Satirist