I refused to attend his funeral. But I wrote a very nice letter explaining that I approved of it.
—Mark Twain (1835–1910) American Humorist
It is said that truth comes from the mouths of fools and children: I wish every good mind which feels an inclination for satire would reflect that the finest satirist always has something of both in him.
—Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (1742–99) German Philosopher, Physicist
The satirist is prevented by repulsion from gaining a better knowledge of the world he is attracted to, yet he is forced by attraction to concern himself with the world that repels him.
—Italo Calvino (1923–85) Italian Novelist, Essayist, Journalist
A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be.
—Ambrose Bierce (1842–1913) American Short-story Writer, Journalist
The cynic is one who never sees a good quality in a man, and never fails to see a bad one. He is the human owl, vigilant in darkness and blind to light, mousing for vermin, and never seeing noble game.
—Henry Ward Beecher (1813–87) American Clergyman, Writer
Out of the unconscious lips of babes and sucklings are we satirized.
—Mark Twain (1835–1910) American Humorist
I don’t believe in pessimism. If something doesn’t come up the way you want, forge ahead. If you think it’s going to rain, it will.
—Clint Eastwood (b.1930) American Film Director, Film Producer, Film Actor
Cynicism is intellectual dandyism.
—George Meredith (1828–1909) British Novelist, Poet, Critic
Sarcasm I now see to be, in general, the language of the devil; for which reason I have long since as good as renounced it.
—Thomas Carlyle (1795–1881) Scottish Historian, Essayist
The cynic never grows up, but commits intellectual suicide.
—Charles Reynolds Brown (1862–1950) American Clergyman
A cynic can chill and dishearten with a single word.
—Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803–82) American Philosopher
Laughing at someone else is an excellent way of learning how to laugh at oneself; and questioning what seem to be the absurd beliefs of another group is a good way of recognizing the potential absurdity of many of one’s own cherished beliefs.
—Gore Vidal (1925–48) American Novelist, Essayist, Journalist, Playwright
A cynic is not merely one who reads bitter lessons from the past; he is one who is prematurely disappointed in the future.
—Sydney J. Harris (1917–86) American Essayist, Drama Critic
Do not sit long with a sad friend. When you go to a garden do you look at the weeds? Spend more time with the roses and jasmines.
—Jalal ad-Din Muhammad Rumi (1207–73) Persian Muslim Mystic
What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
—Oscar Wilde (1854–1900) Irish Poet, Playwright
I believe no satirist could breathe this air. If another Juvenal or Swift could rise up among us tomorrow, he would be hunted down. If you have any knowledge of our literature, and can give me the name of any man, American born and bred, who has anatomized our follies as a people, and not as this or that party; and who has escaped the foulest and most brutal slander, the most inveterate hatred and intolerant pursuit; it will be a strange name in my ears, believe me.
—Charles Dickens (1812–70) English Novelist
Through unity of action we can be a veritable colossus in support of peace. No one can defeat us unless we first defeat ourselves. Every one of us must be guided by this truth.
—Dwight D. Eisenhower (1890–1969) American Head of State, Military Leader
When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.
—Helen Keller (1880–1968) American Author
The satirist who writes nothing but satire should write but little—or it will seem that his satire springs rather from his own caustic nature than from the sins of the world in which he lives.
—Anthony Trollope (1815–82) English Novelist
The pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; the optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
—Unknown
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
—H. L. Mencken (1880–1956) American Journalist, Literary Critic
Blows are sarcasm’s turned stupid.
—George Eliot (Mary Anne Evans) (1819–80) English Novelist
Satire is focused bitterness.
—Leo Rosten (1908–97) Polish-born American Humorist, Screenwriter, Writer
A cynic is just a man who found out when he was ten that there wasn’t any Santa Claus, and he’s still upset.
—James Gould Cozzens (1903–78) American Novelist, Writer
Sarcasm: the last refuge of modest and chaste-souled people when the privacy of their soul is coarsely and intrusively invaded.
—Fyodor Dostoyevsky (1821–81) Russian Novelist, Essayist, Writer
No matter how cynical we become, it’s never enough to keep up.
—Lily Tomlin (b.1939) American Comedy Actress
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
—H. L. Mencken (1880–1956) American Journalist, Literary Critic
The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.
—George Bernard Shaw (1856–1950) Irish Playwright
We can destroy ourselves by cynicism and disillusion, just as effectively as by bombs.
—Kenneth Clark (1903–83) British Art Historian
Fools are my theme, let satire be my song.
—Lord Byron (George Gordon Byron) (1788–1824) English Romantic Poet
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