The happiest time of anyone’s life is just after the first divorce.
—John Kenneth Galbraith (1908–2006) Canadian-Born American Economist
Divorce is the one human tragedy that reduces everything to cash.
—Rita Mae Brown (b.1944) American Writer, Feminist
It is he who has broken the bond of marriage—not I. I only break its bondage.
—Oscar Wilde (1854–1900) Irish Poet, Playwright
People named John and Mary never divorce. For better or for worse, in madness and in saneness, they seem bound together for eternity by their rudimentary nomenclature. They may loathe and despise one another, quarrel, weep, and commit mayhem, but they are not free to divorce. Tom, Dick, and Harry can go to Reno on a whim, but nothing short of death can separate John and Mary.
—John Cheever (1912–82) American Novelist, Short-story Writer
Say not you know another entirely till you have divided an inheritance with him.
—Johann Kaspar Lavater (1741–1801) Swiss Theologian, Poet
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
—Zsa Zsa Gabor (1919–2016) Hungarian-born Film Actress
Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else’s cash.
—P. G. Wodehouse (1881–1975) British Novelist, Short-story Writer, Playwright
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
—Groucho Marx (1890–1977) American Actor, Comedian, Singer
It takes two to destroy a marriage.
—Margaret Trudeau (b.1948) Canadian First Lady, Author
I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.
—Will Rogers (1879–1935) American Actor, Rancher, Humorist
You know, that’s the only good thing about divorce; you get to sleep with your mother.
—Clare Boothe Luce (1903–87) American Playwright, Diplomat, Journalist, Diplomat, Elected Rep
Divorce is the sacrament of adultery.
—French Proverb
The first divorce in the world may have been a tragedy, but the hundred-millionth is not necessarily one.
—Anatole Broyard (1920–90) American Literary Critic
If you think you have trouble supporting a wife, try not supporting her.
—Unknown
I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
—Zsa Zsa Gabor (1919–2016) Hungarian-born Film Actress
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
—Groucho Marx (1890–1977) American Actor, Comedian, Singer
A New York divorce is in itself a diploma of virtue.
—Edith Wharton (1862–1937) American Novelist, Short-story Writer
Alimony—the ransom that the happy pay to the devil.
—H. L. Mencken (1880–1956) American Journalist, Literary Critic
A Roman divorced from his wife, being highly blamed by his friends, who demanded, “Was she not chaste? Was she not fair? Was she not fruitful?” holding out his shoe, asked them whether it was not new and well made. “Yet,” added he, “none of you can tell where it pinches me.
—Plutarch (c.46–c.120 CE) Greek Biographer, Philosopher
Getting divorced just because you don’t love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
—Zsa Zsa Gabor (1919–2016) Hungarian-born Film Actress
Better a tooth out than always aching.
—Thomas Fuller (1608–61) English Cleric, Historian
Divorce is a declaration of independence with only two signers.
—Gerald F. Lieberman
Like I said, I’ve got too much respect for women to marry them, but that doesn’t mean you can’t support them emotionally and financially.
—Sylvester Stallone (b.1946) American Actor, Film Director, Screenwriter
Many divorces are not really the result of irreparable injury but involve, instead, a desire on the part of the man or woman to shatter the setup, start out from scratch alone, and make life work for them all over again. They want the risk of disaster, want to touch bottom, see where bottom is, and, coming up, to breathe the air with relief and relish again.
—Edward Hoagland (b.1932) American Essayist, Novelist
Divorce is a game played by lawyers.
—Cary Grant (1904–86) British-American Film Actor
I’ve been involved in something which was chaotic and insane. All I can say now is that I am, and intend to stay, a single man.
—Sylvester Stallone (b.1946) American Actor, Film Director, Screenwriter
We lov’d, and we lov’d as long as we could
Til our love was lov’d out in us both;
But our marriage is dead, when the pleasure has fled:
‘Twas pleasure that made it an oath.
—John Dryden (1631–1700) English Poet, Literary Critic, Playwright
When two divorced people marry, four people get into bed
—Hebrew Proverb
A divorce is like an amputation; you survive, but there is less of you.
—Margaret Atwood (b.1939) Canadian Writer, Poet, Critic
The fear of making permanent commitments can change the mutual love of husband and wife into two loves of self-two loves existing side by side, until they end in separation.
—Pope John Paul II (1920–2005) Polish Catholic Religious Leader
The only solid and lasting peace between a man and his wife is, doubtless, a separation.
—Earl of Chesterfield (1694–1773) English Statesman, Man of Letters
Divorce is probably of nearly the same date as marriage. I believe, however, that marriage is some weeks the more ancient.
—Voltaire (1694–1778) French Philosopher, Author
Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
—Ambrose Bierce (1842–1913) American Short-story Writer, Journalist
Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.
—Jean Kerr (1922–2003) Irish-American Author, Playwright
Two lives that once part are as ships that divide.
—Edward Bulwer-Lytton, 1st Baron Lytton (1803–73) British Novelist, Poet, Politician
The possibility of divorce renders both marriage partners stricter in their observance of the duties they owe to each other. Divorces help to improve morals and to increase the population.
—Denis Diderot (1713–84) French Philosopher, Writer
When people get married because they think it’s a long-time love affair, they’ll be divorced very soon, because all love affairs end in disappointment. But marriage is a recognition of a piritual identity.
—Joseph Campbell (1904–87) American Mythologist, Writer, Lecturer