Be fond of the man who jests at his scars, if you like; but never believe he is being on the level with you.
—Pamela Hansford Johnson (1912–81) British Novelist, Playwright, Critic
Every survival kit should include a sense of humor.
—Unknown
An inexhaustible good nature is one of the most precious gifts of heaven, spreading itself like oil over the troubled sea of thought, and keeping the mind smooth and equable in the roughest weather.
—Washington Irving (1783–1859) American Essayist, Biographer, Historian
If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
—Groucho Marx (1890–1977) American Actor, Comedian, Singer
Never support two weaknesses at the same time. It’s your combination sinners—your lecherous liars and your miserly drunkards—who dishonor the vices and bring them into bad repute.
—Thornton Wilder (1897–1975) American Novelist, Playwright
Musical comedies aren’t written, they are rewritten.
—Stephen Sondheim (b.1930) American Musician, Composer, Songwriter
The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.
—Lenny Bruce (1925–66) American Comedian, Satirist
Humor is something that thrives between man’s aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.
—Victor Borge (1909–2000) Danish-American Comedian, Musician
The happiness or unhappiness of men depends as much on their humors as on fortune.
—Francois de La Rochefoucauld (1613–80) French Writer
Above all else: go out with a sense of humor. It is needed armor. Joy in one’s heart and some laughter on one’s lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life.
—Hugh Sidey (1927–2005) American Journalist
Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn.
—Irvin S. Cobb (1876–1944) American Humorist, Writer, Columnist
If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.
—Abraham Lincoln (1809–65) American Head of State
Wit is more often a shield than a lance.
—Unknown
He jests at scars that never felt a wound.
—William Shakespeare (1564–1616) British Playwright
Jests that give pains are no jests.
—Miguel de Cervantes (1547–1616) Spanish Novelist
Wit is the lowest form of humor.
—Alexander Pope (1688–1744) English Poet
In the end, everything is a gag.
—Charlie Chaplin (1889–1977) British Actor
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
—Edward de Bono (1933–2021) Maltese-British Psychologist, Writer
Good humor is one of the preservatives of our peace and tranquility.
—Thomas Jefferson (1743–1826) American Head of State, Lawyer
Never say a humorous thing to a man who does not possess humor. He will always use it in evidence against you.
—Herbert Beerbohm Tree (1852–1917) English Actor, Theater Personality
A caricature is putting the face of a joke on the body of a truth.
—Joseph Conrad (1857–1924) Polish-born British Novelist
Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
—George Burns (1896–1996) American Comedian
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritation and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.
—Mark Twain (1835–1910) American Humorist
Even the gods love jokes.
—Plato (428 BCE–347 BCE) Greek Philosopher, Mathematician, Educator
Comedians are not usually actors, but imitations of actors.
—Johann Georg Ritter von Zimmermann (1728–95) Swiss Philosophical Writer, Naturalist, Physician
By blood a king, in heart a clown.
—Alfred, Lord Tennyson (1809–92) British Poet
The reformer for whom the world is not good enough finds himself shoulder to shoulder with him that is not good enough for the world.
—George Bernard Shaw (1856–1950) Irish Playwright
A poor joke must invent its own laughter.
—Latin Proverb
Prithee don’t screw your wit beyond the compass of good manners.
—Colley Cibber (1671–1757) English Playwright, Poet, Actor
Humor—the perfect relationship of the parts to the whole.
—Unknown
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