Advertising: the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.
Lord Ronald said nothing; he flung himself from the room, flung himself upon his horse and rode madly off in all directions.
Humor may be defined as the kindly contemplation of the incongruities of life, and the artistic expression thereof.
Personally, I would sooner have written Alice in Wonderland than the whole Encyclopedia Britannica.
In Canada we have enough to do keeping up with two spoken languages … so we just go right ahead and use English for literature, Scotch for sermons, and American for conversation.
A half truth, like half a brick, is always more forcible as an argument than a whole one. It carries better.
What we call creative work, ought not to be called work at all, because it isn’t. I imagine that Thomas Edison never did a day’s work in his last fifty years.
It takes a good deal of physical courage to ride a horse. This, however, I have. I get it at about forty cents a flask, and take it as required.
If I were founding a university I would begin with a smoking room; next a dormitory; and then a decent reading room and a library. After that, if I still had more money that I couldn’t use, I would hire a professor and get some text books.
It’s a lie, but Heaven will forgive you for it
But the deep background that lies behind and beyond what we call humor is revealed only to the few who, by instinct or by effort, have given thought to it. The world’s humor, in its best and greatest sense, is perhaps the highest product of our civilization. Its basis lies in the deeper contrasts offered by life itself: the strange incongruity between our aspiration and our achievement, the eager and fretful anxieties of today that fade into nothingness tomorrow, the burning pain and the sharp sorrow that are softened in the gentle retrospect of time, till as we look back upon the course that has been traversed, we pass in view the panorama of our lives, as people in old age may recall, with mingled tears and smiles, the angry quarrels of their childhood. And here, in its larger aspect, humor is blended with pathos till the two are one, and represent, as they have in every age, the mingled heritage of tears and laughter that is our lot on earth.
I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.
I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then give up. There’s no use in being a damn fool about it.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies
Men are able to trust one another, knowing the exact degree of dishonesty they are entitled to expect.
Wondering Whom to Read Next?
- Robertson Davies Canadian Novelist, Playwright
- Bainbridge Colby American Politician
- William Mulock Canadian Lawyer, Educator
- Frederick Banting Canadian Medical Scientist
- Margaret Atwood Canadian Author
- Damon Runyon American Writer, Journalist
- Henry Steele Commager American Historian
- Robert M. Pirsig American Writer
- Harvey Williams Cushing American Neurosurgeon, Biographer
- Henri Matisse French Painter, Sculptor