The crisis of yesterday is the joke of tomorrow.
—H. G. Wells (1866–1946) English Novelist, Historian, Social Thinker
A difference of taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
—George Eliot (Mary Anne Evans) (1819–80) English Novelist
A caricature is putting the face of a joke on the body of a truth.
—Joseph Conrad (1857–1924) Polish-born British Novelist
A rich man’s joke is always funny.
—Thomas Edward Brown (1830–97) Manx Poet, Scholar
‘Tis no extravagant arithmetic to say, that for every ten jokes, thou hast got an hundred enemies; and till thou hast gone on, and raised a swarm of wasps about thine ears, and art half stung to death by them, thou wilt never be convinced it is so.
—Laurence Sterne (1713–68) Irish Anglican Novelist, Clergyman
All womankind, from the highest to the lowest love jokes; the difficulty is to know how they choose to have them cut; and there is no knowing that, but by trying, as we do with our artillery in the field, by raising or letting down their breeches, till we hit the mark.
—Laurence Sterne (1713–68) Irish Anglican Novelist, Clergyman
A joke without a point, inane and bald, itself a joke on joking may be called.
—Menander (c.343–c.291 BCE) Greek Comic Dramatist, Poet
That’s what makes us a great nation. We take the little things serious, and the big ones as a joke.
—Will Rogers (1879–1935) American Actor, Rancher, Humorist
Advice is sometimes transmitted more successfully through a joke than grave teaching.
—Baltasar Gracian (1601–58) Spanish Scholar, Prose Writer
He jests at scars that never felt a wound.
—William Shakespeare (1564–1616) British Playwright
My way of joking is to tell the truth; it’s the funniest joke in the world.
—George Bernard Shaw (1856–1950) Irish Playwright
The average man is proof enough that a woman can take a joke.
—Unknown
In polite society one laughs at all the jokes, including the ones one has heard before.
—Frank Lane (1896–1981) American Sportsperson, Businessperson
Suppose the world were only one of God’s jokes, would you work any the less to make it a good joke instead of a bad one?
—George Bernard Shaw (1856–1950) Irish Playwright
I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
—Will Rogers (1879–1935) American Actor, Rancher, Humorist
My life has been one great big joke,
A dance that’s walked,
A song that’s spoke,
I laugh so hard I almost choke,
When I think about myself.
—Maya Angelou (1928–2014) American Poet
Jokes are grievances.
—Marshall Mcluhan (1911–80) Canadian Writer, Thinker, Educator
The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.
—David Ogilvy (1911–99) British-American Advertising Executive
Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee and I’ll forgive Thy great big one on me.
—Robert Frost (1874–1963) American Poet
The reformer for whom the world is not good enough finds himself shoulder to shoulder with him that is not good enough for the world.
—George Bernard Shaw (1856–1950) Irish Playwright
If all else fails, the character of a man can be recognized by nothing so surely as by a jest which he takes badly.
—Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (1742–99) German Philosopher, Physicist
I don’t mind making jokes, but I don’t want to look like one.
—Marilyn Monroe (1926–62) American Actor, Model, Singer
All human race would be wits. And millions miss, for one that hits.
—Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) Irish Satirist
If you want anything done well, do it yourself. This is why most people laugh at their own jokes.
—Bob Edwards (1947–2024) American Radio Journalist, Peabody Award Winner
I gleaned jests at home from obsolete farces.
—Samuel Johnson (1709–84) British Essayist
I should stop myself from dying if a good joke or a good idea occurred to me.
—Voltaire (1694–1778) French Philosopher, Author
A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke-and that the joke is oneself.
—Clifton Fadiman (1904–99) American Author, Radio Personality
If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
—Groucho Marx (1890–1977) American Actor, Comedian, Singer
Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio: a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy. Where be your jibes now, your gambols, your songs, your flashes of merriment that were wont to set the table on a roar?
—William Shakespeare (1564–1616) British Playwright
Prithee don’t screw your wit beyond the compass of good manners.
—Colley Cibber (1671–1757) English Playwright, Poet, Actor
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