Success and failure are both difficult to endure. Along with success come drugs, divorce, fornication, bullying, travel, meditation, medication, depression, neurosis and suicide. With failure comes failure.
—Joseph Heller
Topics: Failure, Success is not everything, Success
Frankly, I’d like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry.
—Joseph Heller
Topics: War
When I grow up, I want to be a little boy.
—Joseph Heller
Topics: Aging, Inner-child
Insanity is contagious.
—Joseph Heller
Topics: Insanity
There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for ones own safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didnt, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didnt have to; but if he didnt want to he was sane and had to. Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle.
—Joseph Heller
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major it had been all three.
—Joseph Heller
Topics: Mediocrity
Destiny is a good thing to accept when it’s going your way. When it isn’t, don’t call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.
—Joseph Heller
I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.
—Joseph Heller
Topics: Dreams
We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist.
—Joseph Heller
Topics: Laughter
Like Olympic medals and tennis trophies, all they signified was that the owner had done something of no benefit to anyone more capably than everyone else.
—Joseph Heller
The enemy is anybody who’s going to get you killed, no matter which side he’s on.
—Joseph Heller
Topics: Perspective
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
—Joseph Heller
Topics: Immortality
He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.
—Joseph Heller
Topics: Failure
Wondering Whom to Read Next?
Ben Hecht American Screenwriter
Norman Mailer American Novelist, Journalist
Don DeLillo American Author
William Goldman Hollywood Screenwriter
Sinclair Lewis American Novelist
Raymond Chandler American Novelist
Howard Zinn American Historian, Activist
Russell Hoban American Author
Truman Capote American Novelist
William Saroyan American Playwright, Novelist