Tragedy is when I get a paper cut on my finger. Comedy is when you fall into a sewer and die.
I really don’t want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you’re alive, you’ve got to flap your arms and legs, you’ve got to jump around a lot, you’ve got to make a lot of noise, because life is the very opposite of death. And therefore, as I see it, if you’re quiet, you’re not living. You’ve got to be noisy, or at least your thoughts should be noisy and colorful and lively.
Topics: Living, Life, Fun
As long as the world is turning and spinning, we’re gonna be dizzy and we’re gonna make mistakes.
Every human being has hundreds of separate people living under his skin. The talent of a writer is his ability to give them their separate names, identities, personalities and have them relate to other characters living with him.
Topics: Authors & Writing, Writing, Writers
I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I’m one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know.
Topics: Authors & Writing
Don’t be afraid to win.
If presidents don’t do it to their wives, they do it to the country.
I was out in the combat engineers. We would throw up bridges in advance of the infantry but mainly we would just throw up.
I don’t believe in this business of being behind, better to be in front.
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