There wasn’t any more truth in over half of what any so-called orator said. If it wasn’t a Deliberate Lie, why it was an Exaggerated Falsehood.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Deception/Lying
Don’t be misled by History, or any other unreliable source.
—Will Rogers
Topics: History
When I die, my epitaph or whatever you call those signs on gravestones is going to read: I joked about every prominent man of my time, but I never met a man I dident like. I am so proud of that I can hardly wait to die so it can be carved. And when you come to my grave you will find me sitting there, proudly reading it.
—Will Rogers
America is a great country, but you can’t live in it for nothing.
—Will Rogers
Topics: America
Asking Europe to disarm is like asking a man in Chicago to give up his life insurance.
—Will Rogers
The minute you read something that you can’t understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Lawyers, Law
The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Politics, Jokes
You can’t say civilization isn’t advancing: in every war, they kill you in a new way.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Civilization, War
There ain’t nothing that breaks up homes, country, and nations like somebody publishing their memoirs.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Legacy, Biography
A conference is just an admission that you want somebody to join you in your troubles.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Trouble
The best way out of a difficulty is through it.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Action, Difficulty, Difficulties
If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these acceptance speeches there wouldn’t be any inducement to go to heaven.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Promises
We don’t give our criminals much punishment, but we sure give ’em plenty of publicity.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Justice
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Time Management, Time, Spending time wisely, Stress
It doesn’t much signify whom one marries, for one is sure to find out the next morning that it was someone else.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Marriage
The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don’t know when it’s through if you are a crook or a martyr.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Golf, Taxes, Taxation
The best doctor is the veterinarian. He can’t ask his patients what is the matter- he’s got to just know.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Doctors
Being a hero is about the shortest lived profession on earth.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Heroes, Heroism, Heroes/Heroism
We are always saying: Let the Law take its Course but what we really mean is: Let the Law take OUR Course.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Law
You can’t legislate intelligence and common sense into people
—Will Rogers
Topics: Intelligence
We don’t know what we want, but we are ready to bite somebody to get it.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Desires
The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don’t let it get the best of you.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Adversity
The main thing about being a hero is to know when to die.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Heroes/Heroism, Heroes, Heroism
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?
—Will Rogers
Topics: Stupidity
Communism is like prohibition, it is a good idea, but it won’t work.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Socialism, Communism
We can’t all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Appropriateness, Heroism, Heroes/Heroism, Failure, Aptness, Heroes, Success
Do the best you can, and don’t take life too serious.
—Will Rogers
A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Opinions, Opinion
You’ve got to be an optimist to be a Democrat, and youve got to be a humorist to stay one.
—Will Rogers
Popularity is the easiest thing in the world to gain and it is the hardest thing to hold.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Popularity
Lord, let me live until I die.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Last Words, Famous Last Words
And kid Congress and the Senate, don’t scold em. They are just children thats never grown up. They don’t like to be corrected in company. Don’t send messages to em, send candy.
—Will Rogers
An economist’s guess is liable to be as good as anybody else’s.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Economics, Economy
If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn’t have to advertise them.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Advertising
The more you read and observe about this politics thing, the more you’ve got to admit that each party’s worse than the other. The one that’s out always looks the best.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Politics
I represent what is left of a vanishing race, and that is the pedestrian…. That I am still able to be here, I owe to a keen eye and a nimble pair of legs. But I know they’ll get me someday.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Driving
I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Golf
People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Anger
People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Justice, Lawyers
In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write, but evidently can’t read. If they could read their stuff, they’d stop writing.
—Will Rogers
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