He who is near the Church is often far from God.
—French Proverb
This merriment of parsons is mighty offensive.
—Samuel Johnson (1709–84) British Essayist
The act of bell ringing is symbolic of all proselytizing religions. It implies the pointless interference with the quiet of other people.
—Ezra Pound (1885-1972) American Poet, Translator, Critic
But a priest’s life is not supposed to be well-rounded; it is supposed to be one-pointed—a compass, not a weathercock.
—Aldous Huxley (1894–1963) English Humanist, Pacifist, Essayist, Short Story Writer, Satirist
What is wrong with priests and popes is that instead of being apostles and saints, they are nothing but empirics who say “I know” instead of “I am learning,” and pray for credulity and inertia as wise men pray for skepticism and activity.
—George Bernard Shaw (1856–1950) Irish Playwright
The question confronting the Church today is not any longer whether the man in the street can grasp a religious message, but how to employ the communications media so as to let him have the full impact of the Gospel message.
—Pope John Paul II (1920–2005) Polish Catholic Religious Leader
Though the church has many critics, it has no rivals.
—Unknown
Church is the only place where someone speaks to me and I do not have to answer back.
—Charles de Gaulle (1890–1970) French General, Statesman
The priesthood is a marriage. People often start by falling in love, and they go on for years without realizing that love must change into some other love which is so unlike it that it can hardly be recognized as love at all.
—Iris Murdoch (1919–99) British Novelist, Playwright, Philosopher
Where God builds a church the devil builds a chapel.
—Martin Luther (1483–1546) German Protestant Theologian
How can a bishop marry? How can he flirt? The most he can say is “I will see you in the vestry after service.”
—Sydney Smith (1771–1845) English Clergyman, Essayist, Wit
Nearly all the evils in the Church have arisen from bishops desiring power more than light. They want authority, not outlook.
—John Ruskin (1819–1900) English Writer, Art Critic
I never saw, heard, nor read, that the clergy were beloved in any nation where Christianity was the religion of the country. Nothing can render them popular, but some degree of persecution.
—Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) Irish Satirist
Here, the churches seemed to shrink away into eroding corners. They seem to have ceased to be essential parts of American life. They no longer give life. It is the huge buildings of commerce and trade which now align the people to attention. These in their massive manner of steel and stone say, Come unto me all ye who labor, and we will give you work.
—Sean O’Casey (1880–1964) Irish Dramatist, Memoirist
It would be far better to be of no church than to be bitter of any.
—William Penn (1644–1718) American Entrepreneur, Political leader, Philosopher
Church attendance is as vital to a disciple as a transfusion of rich, healthy blood to a sick man.
—Dwight L. Moody (1837–99) Christian Religious Leader, Publisher
Be neither intimate nor distant with the clergy.
—Irish Proverb
She say, Celie, tell the truth, have you ever found God in church? I never did. I just found a bunch of folks hoping for him to show. Any God I ever felt in church I brought in with me. And I think all the other folks did too. They come to church to share God, not find God.
—Alice Walker (b.1944) American Novelist, Activist
I believe in one God, and no more; and I hope for happiness beyond this life.
I believe in the equality of man; and I believe that religious duties consist in doing justice, loving mercy, and endeavoring to make our fellow-creatures happy.
But, lest it should be supposed that I believe in many other things in addition to these, I shall, in the progress of this work, declare the things I do not believe, and my reasons for not believing them.
I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish church, by the Roman church, by the Greek church, by the Turkish church, by the Protestant church, nor by any church that I know of. My own mind is my own church.
All national institutions of churches, whether Jewish, Christian or Turkish, appear to me no other than human inventions, set up to terrify and enslave mankind, and monopolize power and profit.
I do not mean by this declaration to condemn those who believe otherwise; they have the same right to their belief as I have to mine. But it is necessary to the happiness of man, that he be mentally faithful to himself. Infidelity does not consist in believing, or in disbelieving; it consists in professing to believe what he does not believe.
—Thomas Paine (1737–1809) American Nationalist, Author, Pamphleteer, Radical, Inventor
The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.
—Fred Allen (1894–1956) American Humorist, Radio Personality
I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish Church, by the Roman Church, by the Greek Church, by the Turkish Church, by the Protestant Church, nor by any church that I know of. My own mind is my own church.
—Thomas Paine (1737–1809) American Nationalist, Author, Pamphleteer, Radical, Inventor
One hundred religious persons knit into a unity by careful organizations do not constitute a church any more than eleven dead men make a football team. The first requisite is life, always.
—A. W. Tozer (1897–1963) American Christian Pastor, Preacher, Author, Editor
Yes, I see the Church as the body of Christ. But, oh! How we have blemished and scarred that body through social neglect and through fear of being nonconformists.
—Martin Luther King, Jr. (1929–68) American Civil Rights Leader, Clergyman
A group touring Westminster Abbey in London heard the guide list the famous people buried within its walls. During a momentary silence a little old lady’s voice blurted out loud and clear, “Anybody been saved here lately?”
—Unknown
I don’t go to church. Kneeling bags my nylons.
—Billy Wilder (1906–2002) American Filmmaker
I have, alas, only one illusion left, and that is the Archbishop of Canterbury.
—Sydney Smith (1771–1845) English Clergyman, Essayist, Wit
The Bible knows nothing of solitary religion.
—John Wesley (1703–91) British Methodist Religious Leader, Preacher, Theologian
Mass ought to be in Latin, unless you could do it in Greek or Chinese. In fact, any abracadabra that no bloody member of the public or half-educated ape of a clargimint could think he understood.
—Ezra Pound (1885-1972) American Poet, Translator, Critic
The Church has always been willing to swap off treasures in heaven for cash down.
—Robert G. Ingersoll (1833–99) American Lawyer, Orator, Agnostic
In the Church, considered as a social organism, the mysteries inevitably degenerate into beliefs.
—Simone Weil (1909–1943) French Philosopher, Political Activist
The old cathedrals are good, but the great blue dome that hangs over everything is better.
—Thomas Carlyle (1795–1881) Scottish Historian, Essayist
We sing in a church, why can we not dance there?
—George Bernard Shaw (1856–1950) Irish Playwright
The parson knows enough who knows a Duke.
—William Cowper (1731–1800) English Anglican Poet, Hymn writer
A full-dressed ecclesiastic is a sort of go-cart of divinity; an ethical automaton. A clerical prig is, in general, a very dangerous as well as contemptible character. The utmost that those who thus habitually confound their opinions and sentiments with the outside coverings of their bodies can aspire to, is a negative and neutral character, like wax-work figures, where the dress is done as much to the life as the man, and where both are respectable pieces of pasteboard, or harmless compositions of fleecy hosiery.
—William Hazlitt (1778–1830) English Essayist
An instinctive taste teaches men to build their churches with spire steeples which point as with a silent finger to the sky and stars.
—Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772–1834) English Poet, Literary Critic, Philosopher
The Pope is an idol whose hands are tied and whose feet are kissed.
—Voltaire (1694–1778) French Philosopher, Author
Many come to bring their clothes to church rather than themselves.
—Thomas Fuller (1608–61) English Cleric, Historian
The Church is not a gallery for the exhibition of eminent Christians, but a school for the education of imperfect ones.
—Henry Ward Beecher (1813–87) American Clergyman, Writer
It is indolence… Indolence and love of ease; a want of all laudable ambition, of taste for good company, or of inclination to take the trouble of being agreeable, which make men clergymen. A clergyman has nothing to do but be slovenly and selfish; read the newspaper, watch the weather, and quarrel with his wife. His curate does all the work and the business of his own life is to dine.
—Jane Austen (1775–1817) English Novelist
Churchgoers are like coals in a fire. When they cling together, they keep the flame aglow; when they separate, they die out.
—Billy Graham (1918–91) American Baptist Religious Leader
A church is a place in which gentlemen who have never been to heaven brag about it to persons who will never get there.
—H. L. Mencken (1880–1956) American Journalist, Literary Critic
We praise Him, we bless Him, we adore Him, we glorify Him, and we wonder who is that baritone across the aisle and that pretty woman on our right who smells of apple blossoms. Our bowels stir and our cod itches and we amend our prayers for the spiritual life with the hope that it will not be too spiritual.
—John Cheever (1912–82) American Novelist, Short-story Writer
The root of almost every schism and heresy from which the Christian Church has suffered, has been because of the effort of men to earn, rather than receive their salvation; and the reason preaching is so commonly ineffective is, that it often calls on people to work for God rather than letting God work through them.
—John Ruskin (1819–1900) English Writer, Art Critic
There is no heresy or no philosophy which is so abhorrent to the church as a human being.
—James Joyce (1882–1941) Irish Novelist, Poet
There is not in the universe a more ridiculous, nor a more contemptible animal, than a proud clergyman.
—Henry Fielding (1707–54) English Novelist, Dramatist
Sign in lot: Church parking only. We will not forgive those who trespass against us.
—Unknown
He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic.
—Kingsley Amis (1922–95) English Novelist, Poet
If church prelates, past or present, had even an inkling of physiology they’d realize that what they term this inner ugliness creates and nourishes the hearing ear, the seeing eye, the active mind, and energetic body of man and woman, in the same way that dirt and dung at the roots give the plant its delicate leaves and the full-blown rose.
—Sean O’Casey (1880–1964) Irish Dramatist, Memoirist
And of all plagues with which mankind are cursed, ecclesiastic tyranny’s the worst.
—Daniel Defoe (1659–1731) English Writer, Journalist, Pamphleteer
Archbishop—A Christian ecclesiastic of a rank superior to that attained by Christ.
—H. L. Mencken (1880–1956) American Journalist, Literary Critic