If you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn and hatred that a fellow human being can pour out for you, let a young mother hear you call dear baby “it.”
—Jerome K. Jerome (1859–1927) English Humorous Writer, Novelist, Playwright
I don’t dislike babies, though I think very young ones rather disgusting.
—Queen Victoria (1819–1901) British Royal
The tiny madman in his padded cell.
—Vladimir Nabokov (1899–1977) Russian-born American Novelist
To see helpless infancy stretching out her hands, and pouring out her cries in testimony of dependence, without any powers to alarm jealousy, or any guilt to alienate affection, must surely awaken tenderness in every human mind; and tenderness once excited will be hourly increased by the natural contagion of felicity, by the repercussion of communicated pleasure, by the consciousness of dignity of benefaction.
—Samuel Johnson (1709–84) British Essayist
Love is like a baby: it needs to be treated tenderly.
A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.
—Jerry Seinfeld (b.1954) American Comedian
Nothing more strongly arouses our disgust than cannibalism, yet we make the same impression on Buddhists and vegetarians, for we feed on babies, though not our own
—Robert Louis Stevenson (1850–94) Scottish Novelist
Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.
—Bill Cosby (b.1937) American Actor, Comedian, Activist, Producer, Author
Babies are such a nice way to start people
—Don Herold (1889–1966) American Humorist, Writer, Illustrator, Cartoonist
It is the nature of babies to be in bliss.
—Deepak Chopra (b.1946) Indian-born American Physician, Public Speaker, Writer
A baby is God’s opinion that life should go on.
—Carl Sandburg (1878–1967) American Biographer, Novelist, Socialist
A baby sitter is someone who watches your TV set While your kids cry themselves to sleep.
Infancy conforms to nobody: all conform to it, so that one babe commonly makes four or five out of the adults who prattle and play to it.
—Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803–82) American Philosopher
There is no finer investment for any community than putting milk into babies.
—Winston Churchill (1874–1965) British Head of State, Political leader, Historian, Journalist, Author
From the moment of birth, when the stone-age baby confronts the twentieth-century mother, the baby is subjected to these forces of violence, called love, as its mother and father have been, and their parents and their parents before them. These forces are mainly concerned with destroying most of its potentialities. This enterprise is on the whole successful.
—R. D. Laing (1927–89) Scottish Psychiatrist
Babies are necessary to grown-ups. A new baby is like the beginning of all things—wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities. In a world that is cutting down its trees to build highways, losing its earth to concrete… babies are almost the only remaining link with nature, with the natural world of living things from which we spring.
—Eda LeShan (1922–2002) American TV Personality, Playwright, Educator, Writer
As surely as God is good, so surely there is no such thing as necessary evil.
—Robert South (1634–1716) English Theologian, Preacher
A baby is born with a need to be loved – and never outgrows it.
—Frank A. Clark
A lady is smarter than a gentleman, maybe, she can sew a fine seam, she can have a baby, she can use her intuition instead of her brain, but she can’t fold a paper in a crowded train.
—Phyllis McGinley (1905–78) American Children’s Books Writer, Poet, Writer of Children’s Books
The man who thinks his wife, his baby, his house, his horse, his dog, and himself severely unequalled, is almost sure to be a good-humored person.
—Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. (1809–94) American Physician, Essayist
Children are a handful sometimes, A heartfull all the time…
Diaper backward spells repaid. Think about it.
—Marshall Mcluhan (1911–80) Canadian Writer, Thinker, Educator
Since people are going to be living longer and getting older, they’ll just have to learn how to be babies longer.
—Andy Warhol (1928–87) American Painter, Printmaker, Film Personality
Everyone knows that by far the happiest and universally enjoyable age of man is the first. What is there about babies which makes us hug and kiss and fondle them, so that even an enemy would give them help at that age?
—Desiderius Erasmus (c.1469–1536) Dutch Humanist, Scholar
A monkey never thinks her baby’s ugly.
Babies don’t need a vacation but I still see them at the beach. I’ll go over to them and say, ‘What are you doing here, you’ve never worked a day in your life!’.
—Steven Wright (b.1955) American Comedian, Actor, Writer
The unborn baby that fears criticism will never be born.
Cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
For babies grow up, we’ve learned to our sorrow
So quiet down, cobwebs
Dust, go to sleep
I’m rocking my baby, and babies don’t keep.
A baby is sunshine and moonbeams and more brightening your world as never before.
A baby is an angel whose wings decrease as his legs increase.