Inspirational Quotes by Jackie Mason (American Comedian)

If an Englishman gets run down by a truck he apologizes to the truck.
—Jackie Mason
Topics: Humor

It’s no longer a question of staying healthy. It’s a question of finding a sickness you like.
—Jackie Mason
Topics: Health

You know how many stunning women told me they can’t stand a good-looking man? … Women feel secure with an ugly guy because a man in bad shape isn’t gonna cheat.
—Jackie Mason
Topics: Reality, Opportunities

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
—Jackie Mason
Topics: Money

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
—Jackie Mason
Topics: Marriage, Cheating

England is the only country in the world where the food is more dangerous than sex.
—Jackie Mason
Topics: Britain

No matter where you go, there you are.
—Jackie Mason
Topics: Self-Discovery