Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing from something.
—Wilson Mizner
Topics: Gambling, One liners
A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something.
—Wilson Mizner
A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.
—Wilson Mizner
Topics: Listening
Be nice to people on your way up because you’ll meet them on your way down.
—Wilson Mizner
I’ve spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience.
—Wilson Mizner
Topics: Audiences
The worst-tempered people I’ve ever met were people who knew they were wrong.
—Wilson Mizner
Topics: People, Temper, Anger
Copy from one, it’s plagiarism; copy from two, it’s research.
—Wilson Mizner
Topics: Plagiarism
The worst tempered people I have ever met were those who knew that they were wrong.
—Wilson Mizner
Topics: Anger
Life is a tough proposition and the first hundred years are the hardest.
—Wilson Mizner
Topics: Life and Living
There’s nothing so comfortable as a small bankroll. A big one is always in danger.
—Wilson Mizner
Topics: Wealth
I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.
—Wilson Mizner
Topics: Judgement, Laughter
If you steal from one author, it’s plagiarism; if you steal from many, it’s research.
—Wilson Mizner
Topics: Plagiarism
Always be nice to people on the way up; because you’ll meet the same people on the way down.
—Wilson Mizner
Topics: Kindness
The only sure thing about luck is that it will change.
—Wilson Mizner
I’ve known countless people who were reservoirs of learning, yet never had a thought.
—Wilson Mizner
Topics: Thoughts, Thinking, Thought
I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your effort to believe it.
—Wilson Mizner
Topics: Compliments
I want a priest, a rabbi, and a Protestant clergyman. I want to hedge my bets.
—Wilson Mizner
Topics: Death
The gent who wakes up and finds himself a success hasn’t been asleep.
—Wilson Mizner
Topics: Success, Success & Failure
A fellow who is always declaring that he’s no fool, usually has his suspicions.
—Wilson Mizner
Topics: Foolishness, Fools
In the battle of existence, Talent is the punch; Tact is the clever footwork
—Wilson Mizner
Topics: Battle, Talent
Some of the greatest love affairs I’ve known have involved one actor-unassisted.
—Wilson Mizner
Topics: Acting
A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.
—Wilson Mizner
Topics: Critics, Criticism
Don’t talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.
—Wilson Mizner
Topics: Ego, Humility, Egotism
Popularity is exhausting. The life of the party almost always winds up in a corner with an overcoat over him.
—Wilson Mizner
Topics: Popularity
I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.
—Wilson Mizner
Topics: Doubt, Faith, One liners, Education
The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
—Wilson Mizner
Topics: Friends and Friendship, Friendship
Wondering Whom to Read Next?
Arthur Miller American Playwright
Clare Boothe Luce American Playwright
Marsha Norman American Playwright
William Motter Inge American Playwright
Lillian Hellman American Playwright
Tennessee Williams American Playwright
Thornton Wilder American Novelist, Dramatist
Edna St. Vincent Millay American Poet
Natalie Clifford Barney American Literary Figure
George Bernard Shaw Irish Playwright