We have fifty-one golf courses in Palm Springs. He(Gerald Ford) never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot…At least he can’t cheat on his score- because all you have to do is look back down the fairway and count the wounded.
—Bob Hope (1903–2003) British-born American Comedian
The trees taunt you; the sand mocks you; the water calls your name… and they say golf is a quiet game.
—Anonymous
Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.
—Unknown
I’ve been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.
—Bob Hope (1903–2003) British-born American Comedian
My body is here, but my mind has already teed off.
—Unknown
Putts get real difficult the day they hand out the money.
—Lee Trevino (b.1939) American Golfer, Commentator
Mulligan: invented by an Irishman who wanted to hit one more twenty yard grounder.
—Jim Bishop (1907–87) American Author, Journalist, Columnist
The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don’t know when it’s through if you are a crook or a martyr.
—Will Rogers (1879–1935) American Actor, Rancher, Humorist
Somewhere along the line I’ll be recognized as one of the top players in the Nicklaus era. That’s all I want to be remembered for.
—Lee Trevino (b.1939) American Golfer, Commentator
Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you’re the best.
—Jack Nicklaus (b.1940) American Sportsperson
This place Augusta National rejects me like a skin transplant.
—Lee Trevino (b.1939) American Golfer, Commentator
If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.
—Bob Hope (1903–2003) British-born American Comedian
Only a stupid golfer throws his club behind him. The smart golfer throws his club ahead so he can pick it up on the way to the next hole. Always remember: Golf clubs don’t float.
—Anonymous
Playing the game I have learned the meaning of humility. It has given me an understanding of futility of the human effort.
—Abba Eban (1915–2002) Israeli Diplomat, Politician
Golf is not a game of good shots. It’s a game of bad shots.
—Ben Hogan (1912–97) American Golfer
Years ago I had a 1-iron I could hit 260 yards through a doorway. Now I can hit it through the keyhole.
—Lee Trevino (b.1939) American Golfer, Commentator
Golf, more than most games, has a number of cliches, often successfully disguised as “tips”
—Indian Proverb
Reverse every natural instinct and do the opposite of what you are inclined to do, and you will probably come very close to having a perfect golf swing.
—Ben Hogan (1912–97) American Golfer
I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an elk and a moose.
—Gerald Ford (1913–2006) American Head of State
I’m not out there just to be dancing around. I expect to win every time I tee up.
—Lee Trevino (b.1939) American Golfer, Commentator
I did envisage being this successful as a player, but not all the hysteria around it off the golf course.
—Tiger Woods (b.1975) American Sportsperson
Golf is not and never has been a fair game.
—Jack Nicklaus (b.1940) American Sportsperson
Golf is good walk spoiled.
—Mark Twain (1835–1910) American Humorist
I love it. I don’t know if I love it as much as Arnold Palmer, but I think I am close. I can’t wait to get up in the mornings because I know I am going out to play golf. The game has been very good to me. Much has been said about when I am going to retire but I never will.
—Lee Trevino (b.1939) American Golfer, Commentator
I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.
—G. K. Chesterton (1874–1936) English Journalist, Novelist, Essayist, Poet
You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.
—Lee Trevino (b.1939) American Golfer, Commentator
It is a hopeless endeavour to unite the contrarieties of spring and winter; it is unjust to claim the privileges of age, and retain the playthings of childhood.
—Samuel Johnson (1709–84) British Essayist
A golfer’s diet: live on greens as much as possible.
—Unknown
One under a tree, one under a bush, one under the water.
—Lee Trevino (b.1939) American Golfer, Commentator
Focus on remedies, not faults.
—Jack Nicklaus (b.1940) American Sportsperson
Leave a Reply