The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.
—Billy Graham (1918–91) American Baptist Religious Leader
The most rewarding things you do in life are often the ones that look like they cannot be done.
—Arnold Palmer (b.1929) American Sportsperson
I’ve always made a total effort, even when the odds seemed entirely against me. I never quit trying; I never felt that I didn’t have a chance to win.
—Arnold Palmer (b.1929) American Sportsperson
After all, golf is only a game, said Millicent. Women say these things without thinking. It does not mean that there is a kink in their character. They simply don’t realise what they are saying.
—P. G. Wodehouse (1881–1975) British Novelist, Short-story Writer, Playwright
Gimme: an agreement between two losers who can’t putt.
—Jim Bishop (1907–87) American Journalist, Author
Always make a total effort, even when the odds are against you.
—Arnold Palmer (b.1929) American Sportsperson
It’s a funny thing, the more I practice the luckier I get.
—Arnold Palmer (b.1929) American Sportsperson
If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.
—Bob Hope (1903–2003) British-born American Comedian
You’ve got to be rich to have a swing like that
—Bob Hope (1903–2003) British-born American Comedian
do much of my creative thinking while golfing. If people know you’re..
—Harper Lee (1926–2016) American Novelist
In the game of life it’s a good idea to have a few early losses, which relieves you of the pressure of trying to maintain an undefeated season.
—Burton Hillis (William E. Vaughan) (1915–77) American Columnist, Author
You must play boldly to win.
—Arnold Palmer (b.1929) American Sportsperson
Golf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it.
—Robin Williams (b.1951) American Actor, Comedian
I did envisage being this successful as a player, but not all the hysteria around it off the golf course.
—Tiger Woods (b.1975) American Sportsperson
Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious.
—P. G. Wodehouse (1881–1975) British Novelist, Short-story Writer, Playwright
The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterflies in the adjoining meadows.
—P. G. Wodehouse (1881–1975) British Novelist, Short-story Writer, Playwright
Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.
—Tiger Woods (b.1975) American Sportsperson
A typical day in the life of a heavy metal musician consists of a round of golf and an AA meeting.
—Billy Joel (b.1949) American Singer, Songwriter, Musician
Golf is not, on the whole, a game for realists. By its exactitudes of measurements it invites the attention of perfectionists.
—Heywood Broun (1888–1939) American Journalist
I get to play golf for a living. What more can you ask for – getting paid for doing what you love.
—Tiger Woods (b.1975) American Sportsperson
I don’t care to join any club that’s prepared to have me as a member.
—Groucho Marx (1890–1977) American Actor, Comedian, Singer
The worse you’re performing, the more you must work mentally and emotionally. The greatest and toughest art in golf is “playing badly well.” All the true greats have been masters at it.
—Jack Nicklaus (b.1940) American Sportsperson
Golf is an open exhibition of overweening ambition, courage deflated by stupidity, skill scoured by a whiff of arrogance
—Alistair Cooke (1908–2004) British-American Journalist, Broadcaster
A golf course is the epitome of all that is purely transitory in the universe; a space not to dwell in, but to get over as quickly as possible
—Jean Giraudoux (1882–1944) French Novelist, Playwright, Essayist
The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing.
—Phyllis Diller (b.1917) American Actor, Comedian
Mulligan: invented by an Irishman who wanted to hit one more twenty yard grounder.
—Jim Bishop (1907–87) American Journalist, Author
He enjoys that perfect peace, that peace beyond all understanding, which comes at its maximum only to the man who has given up golf.
—P. G. Wodehouse (1881–1975) British Novelist, Short-story Writer, Playwright
Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.
—Jim Bishop (1907–87) American Journalist, Author
Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad
—A. A. Milne (1882–1956) British Humorist, Playwright, Children’s Writer
Anyone who lies golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.
—Andy Rooney (b.1919) American Writer, Humorist, TV Personality
In golf, you keep your head down and follow through. In the vice presidency, you keep your head up and follow through. It’s a big difference.
—Dan Quayle (b.1947) American Head of State, Politician, Elected Rep
What other people may find in poetry or art museums, I find in the flight of a good drive.
—Arnold Palmer (b.1929) American Sportsperson