Golf is an ineffectual attempt to put an elusive ball into an obscure hole with implements ill-adapted to the purpose.
—Woodrow Wilson (1856–1924) American Head of State
Playing the game I have learned the meaning of humility. It has given me an understanding of futility of the human effort.
—Abba Eban (1915–2002) Israeli Diplomat, Politician
It takes hundreds of good golf shots to gain confidence, but only one bad
—Jack Nicklaus (b.1940) American Sportsperson
Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose.
—Winston Churchill (1874–1965) British Head of State, Political leader, Historian, Journalist, Author
I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an elk and a moose.
—Gerald Ford (1913–2006) American Head of State
You’ve got to be rich to have a swing like that
—Bob Hope (1903–2003) British-born American Comedian
Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because the cart cannot count, criticize or laugh
—Indian Proverb
The trees taunt you; the sand mocks you; the water calls your name… and they say golf is a quiet game
—Anonymous
A game in which you claim the privileges of age, and retain the playthings of childhood.
—Unknown
A typical day in the life of a heavy metal musician consists of a round of golf and an AA meeting.
—Billy Joel (b.1949) American Singer, Songwriter, Musician
Art said he wanted to get more distance. I told him to hit it and run backward.
—Ken Venturi (1931–2013) American Golfer, Sportscaster
Tee your ball high…the air offers less resistance than dirt
—Jack Nicklaus (b.1940) American Sportsperson
My attitude toward punctuation is that it ought to be as conventional as possible. The game of golf would lose a good deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. You ought to be able to show that you can do it a good deal better than anyone else with the regular tools before you have a license to bring in your own improvements.
—Ernest Hemingway (1899–1961) American Author, Journalist, Short Story Writer
One of the reasons Arnie Palmer is playing so well is that, before each final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them.
—Indian Proverb
Gone golfin’… be back dark thirty
—Unknown
Drugs are very much a part of professional sports today, but when you think about it, golf is the only sport where the players aren’t penalized for being on grass.
—Bob Hope (1903–2003) British-born American Comedian
Even God has to practice his putting
—Common Proverb
If you want to take long walks, take long walks. If you want to hit things with sticks, hit things with sticks. But there’s no excuse for combining the two and putting the results on TV. Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns
—Unknown
In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf
—Indian Proverb
Golf is good walk spoiled
—Mark Twain (1835–1910) American Humorist
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
—Mark Twain (1835–1910) American Humorist
The members who command the best service at your golf club either have the lowest handicaps or the highest bar bills
—Indian Proverb
May thy ball lie in green pastures… and not in still waters.
—Unknown
If I hit it right, it’s a slice. If I hit it left, it’s a hook. If I hit it straight, it’s a miracle.
—Indian Proverb
It’s a funny thing, the more I practice the luckier I get.
—Arnold Palmer (b.1929) American Sportsperson
Golf is a fine relief from the tensions of office, but we are a little tired of holding the bag.
—Adlai Stevenson (1900–65) American Diplomat, Politician, Orator
Why Don’t you aim more to the right?
—Ben Hogan (1912–97) American Golfer
What a shame to waste those great shots on the practice tee
—Walter Lippmann (1889–1974) American Journalist, Political Commentator, Writer
The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight
—Ben Hogan (1912–97) American Golfer
Golf is a game in which one endeavors to control a ball with implements ill adapted for the purpose.
—Woodrow Wilson (1856–1924) American Head of State