I just hope I don’t have to explain all the times I’ve used His name in vain when I get up there
—Bob Hope (1903–2003) British-born American Comedian
How about a little noise. How do you expect a man to putt?
—Babe Ruth (1895–1948) American Baseball Legend
The Green Bay Packers never lost a football game. They just ran out of time
—Vince Lombardi, Jr. (1913–70) American Football Player, Coach
I couldn’t wait for the sun to come up the next morning so that I could get out on the course again.
—Ben Hogan (1912–97) American Golfer
Golf is an ideal diversion, but a ruinous disease
—B. C. Forbes (1880–1954) Scottish-born American Journalist, Publisher
Golf is a game in which one endeavors to control a ball with implements ill adapted for the purpose.
—Woodrow Wilson (1856–1924) American Head of State
Gone golfin’… be back dark thirty
—Unknown
Shoot a lower score than everybody else
—Ben Hogan (1912–97) American Golfer
Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.
—Tiger Woods (b.1975) American Sportsperson
My attitude toward punctuation is that it ought to be as conventional as possible. The game of golf would lose a good deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. You ought to be able to show that you can do it a good deal better than anyone else with the regular tools before you have a license to bring in your own improvements.
—Ernest Hemingway (1899–1961) American Author, Journalist, Short Story Writer
Golf is like life in a lot of ways – All the biggest wounds are self-inflicted
—Bill Clinton (b.1946) American Head of State, Lawyer, Public Speaker
Focus on remedies, not faults.
—Jack Nicklaus (b.1940) American Sportsperson
Victory is everything. You can spend the money, but you can never spend the memories.
—Ken Venturi (1931–2013) American Golfer, Sportscaster
He enjoys that perfect peace, that peace beyond all understanding, which comes at its maximum only to the man who has given up golf.
—P. G. Wodehouse (1881–1975) British Novelist, Short-story Writer, Playwright
Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad
—A. A. Milne (1882–1956) British Humorist, Playwright, Children’s Writer
One of the reasons Arnie Palmer is playing so well is that, before each final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them.
—Indian Proverb
I’ve always made a total effort, even when the odds seemed entirely against me. I never quit trying; I never felt that I didn’t have a chance to win.
—Arnold Palmer (b.1929) American Sportsperson
Obviously a deer on the fairway has seen you tee off before and knows that the safest place to be when you play is right down the middle
—Jackie Gleason (1916–87) American Comedian, Actor, Conductor
The great thing about this game is that the bad days are wonderful.
—Bill Clinton (b.1946) American Head of State, Lawyer, Public Speaker
Golf is not sacred, and there is no use getting so gosh-darned solemn about it
—Don Herold (1889–1966) American Humorist, Writer, Illustrator, Cartoonist
One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President
—Lyndon B. Johnson (1908–73) American Head of State, Political leader
The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.
—Billy Graham (1918–91) American Baptist Religious Leader
Golf is a fine relief from the tensions of office, but we are a little tired of holding the bag.
—Adlai Stevenson (1900–65) American Diplomat, Politician, Orator
I don’t care to join any club that’s prepared to have me as a member.
—Groucho Marx (1890–1977) American Actor, Comedian, Singer
Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.
—Jim Bishop (1907–87) American Journalist, Author
Golf is an easy game…It’s just hard to play
—Unknown
I play with friends, but we don’t play friendly games.
—Ben Hogan (1912–97) American Golfer
I know I am getting better at golf because I’m hitting fewer spectators.
—Gerald Ford (1913–2006) American Head of State
Golf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it.
—Robin Williams (b.1951) American Actor, Comedian
I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles
—G. K. Chesterton (1874–1936) English Journalist, Novelist, Essayist, Poet
The trouble that most of us find with the modern matched sets of clubs is that they don’t really seem to know any more about the game than the old ones did.
—Robert Browning (1812–89) English Poet
I am hitting the woods just great … but having a terrible time getting out of them!
—Unknown
The best wood in most amateurs’ bags is the pencil.
—Indian Proverb
next shot is eighty percent of winning golf..
—Ben Hogan (1912–97) American Golfer
It’s a funny thing, the more I practice the luckier I get.
—Arnold Palmer (b.1929) American Sportsperson
You must play boldly to win.
—Arnold Palmer (b.1929) American Sportsperson
What other people may find in poetry or art museums, I find in the flight of a good drive.
—Arnold Palmer (b.1929) American Sportsperson
Golf’s a hard game to figure. One day you’ll go out and slice it, shank it, hit all the traps, and miss every green. The next day you go out and, for no reason at all, you really stink
—Bob Hope (1903–2003) British-born American Comedian
Golf is an ineffectual attempt to put an elusive ball into an obscure hole with implements ill-adapted to the purpose.
—Woodrow Wilson (1856–1924) American Head of State
I don’t say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes they’d come up sliced.
—Unknown
By the time you get dressed, drive out there, play 18 holes and come home, you’ve blown seven hours. There are better things you can do with your time
—Richard Nixon (1913–94) American Head of State, Lawyer
An amateur golfer is one who addresses the ball twice: once before swinging, and once again after swinging
—Unknown
In the game of life it’s a good idea to have a few early losses, which relieves you of the pressure of trying to maintain an undefeated season.
—Burton Hillis (William E. Vaughan) (1915–77) American Columnist, Author
A game in which you claim the privileges of age, and retain the playthings of childhood.
—Unknown
I’ve been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals
—Bob Hope (1903–2003) British-born American Comedian
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
—Mark Twain (1835–1910) American Humorist
Even God has to practice his putting
—Common Proverb
I think I fail a bit less than everyone else.
—Jack Nicklaus (b.1940) American Sportsperson
If I had my way, any man guilty of golf would be barred from any public office in the United States and the families of the breed would be shipped off to the white slave corrals of Argentina.
—H. L. Mencken (1880–1956) American Journalist, Literary Critic
There’s no game like golf: you go out with three friends, play eighteen holes, and return with three enemies
—Unknown