It is hardly surprising that children should enthusiastically start their education at an early age with the Absolute Knowledge of computer science; while they are unable to read, for reading demands making judgments at every line. Conversation is almost dead, and soon so too will be those who knew how to speak.
—Guy Debord (1931–94) French Philosopher
The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers.
—Sydney J. Harris (1917–86) American Essayist, Drama Critic
Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.
—Anonymous
All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors.
—Anonymous
The idea that Bill Gates has appeared like a knight in shining armor to lead all customers out of a mire of technological chaos neatly ignores the fact that it was he who, by peddling second- rate technology, led them into it in the first place.
—Douglas Adams (1952–2001) English Novelist, Scriptwriter
Want to make your computer go really fast? Throw it out a window.
—Anonymous
The computer is a moron.
—Peter Drucker (1909–2005) Austrian-born Management Consultant
To err is human—and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
—Robert Orben (1927–2023) American Humorist, Speechwriter
Life was simple before World War II. After that, we had systems.
—Grace Hopper (1906–92) American Naval Officer, Mathematician
If a trainstation is where the train stops, what’s a workstation..?
—Anonymous
Who’s General Failure and why’s he reading my disk?
—Anonymous
If you can’t beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing.
—Anonymous
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
—Thomas J. Watson, Sr. (1874–1956) American Business Executive
What goes up must come down. Ask any system administrator.
—Anonymous
It took us three years to build the NeXT computer. If we’d given customers what they said they wanted, we’d have built a computer they’d have been happy with a year after we spoke to them – not something they’d want now.
—Steve Jobs (1955–2011) American Entrepreneur, Businessperson
The desire to economize time and mental effort in arithmetical computations, and to eliminate human liability to error is probably as old as the science of arithmetic itself.
—Howard H. Aiken (1900–73) American Physicist, Engineer
On artificial intelligence: the real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do.
—B. F. Skinner (1904–90) American Psychologist, Author
Whom computers would destroy, they must first drive mad.
—Anonymous
Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest.
—Isaac Asimov (1920–92) Russian-born American Writer, Scientist
We’re flooding people with information. We need to feed it through a processor. A human must turn information into intelligence or knowledge. We’ve tended to forget that no computer will ever ask a new question.
—Grace Hopper (1906–92) American Naval Officer, Mathematician
Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
—Pablo Picasso (1881–1973) Spanish Painter, Sculptor, Artist
Where the ENIAC is equipped with 18,000 vacuum tubes and weighs 30 tons, computers in the future may have only 1,000 vacuum tubes and weigh only 1 1/2 tons.
—Anonymous
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn’t get bigger or heavier.
—Bill Gates (b.1955) American Businessperson, Entrepreneur, Author, Philanthropist
Electronic aids, particularly domestic computers, will help the inner migration, the opting out of reality. Reality is no longer going to be the stuff out there, but the stuff inside your head. It’s going to be commercial and nasty at the same time.
—J. G. Ballard (1930–2009) English Novelist, Short Story Writer
Intel has announced its next chip: the Repentium.
—Anonymous
There will still be things that machines cannot do. They will not produce great art or great literature or great philosophy; they will not be able to discover the secret springs of happiness in the human heart; they will know nothing of love and friendship.
—Bertrand A. Russell (1872–1970) British Philosopher, Mathematician, Social Critic
Computers are magnificent tools for the realization of our dreams, but no machine can replace the human spark of spirit, compassion, love, and understanding.
—Louis V. Gerstner Jr. (b.1942) American Businessman
At the present time there exist problems beyond our ability to solve, not because of theoretical difficulties, but because of insufficient means of mechanical computation.
—Howard H. Aiken (1900–73) American Physicist, Engineer
There is never finality in the display terminal’s screen, but an irresponsible whimsicality, as words, sentences, and paragraphs are negated at the touch of a key. The significance of the past, as expressed in the manuscript by a deleted word or an inserted correction, is annulled in idle gusts of electronic massacre.
—Alexander Claud Cockburn (1941–2012) Irish American Political Journalist
Computers will never take the place of books. You can’t stand on a floppy disk to reach a high shelf.
—Sam Ewing (1949–2018) American Writer, Humorist
Leave a Reply