Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.
—Anonymous
Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all.
—John F. Kennedy (1917–63) American Head of State, Journalist
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn’t get bigger or heavier.
—Bill Gates (b.1955) American Businessperson, Entrepreneur, Philanthropist, Author
Human happiness and human satisfaction must ultimately come from within oneself. It is wrong to expect some final satisfaction to come from money or from a computer.
—The 14th Dalai Lama (b.1935) Tibetan Buddhist Religious Leader, Civil Rights Leader, Philosopher, Author
The sad thing about artificial intelligence is that it lacks artifice and therefore intelligence.
—Jean Baudrillard (1929–2007) French Sociologist, Philosopher
The idea that Bill Gates has appeared like a knight in shining armor to lead all customers out of a mire of technological chaos neatly ignores the fact that it was he who, by peddling second- rate technology, led them into it in the first place.
—Douglas Adams (1952–2001) English Novelist, Scriptwriter
At the present time there exist problems beyond our ability to solve, not because of theoretical difficulties, but because of insufficient means of mechanical computation.
—Howard H. Aiken (1900–73) American Physicist, Engineer
The desire to economize time and mental effort in arithmetical computations, and to eliminate human liability to error is probably as old as the science of arithmetic itself.
—Howard H. Aiken (1900–73) American Physicist, Engineer
If you can’t beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing.
—Anonymous
Who’s General Failure and why’s he reading my disk?
—Anonymous
Whom computers would destroy, they must first drive mad.
—Anonymous
I’m not against machines, as are some people who feel that the computer is leading us back into the jungle…I’m against machines only when the convenience they afford to some people is regarded as more important than the inconvenience they cause to all.
In short, I don’t think computers should wear the pants or make the decisions. They are deficient in humor, they are not intuitive, and they are not aware of the imponderables. The men who feed them seem to believe that everything is made out of ponderables, which isn’t the case. I read a poem once that a computer had written, but didn’t care much for it. It seemed to me I could write a better one myself, if I were to put my mind to it.
—E. B. White (1985–99) American Essayist, Humorist
Life was simple before World War II. After that, we had systems.
—Grace Hopper (1906–92) American Naval Officer, Mathematician
Computer science only indicates the retrospective omnipotence of our technologies. In other words, an infinite capacity to process data (but only data—i.e. the already given) and in no sense a new vision. With that science, we are entering an era of exhaustivity, which is also an era of exhaustion.
—Jean Baudrillard (1929–2007) French Sociologist, Philosopher
We’re flooding people with information. We need to feed it through a processor. A human must turn information into intelligence or knowledge. We’ve tended to forget that no computer will ever ask a new question.
—Grace Hopper (1906–92) American Naval Officer, Mathematician
I think computer viruses should count as life. Maybe it says something about human nature, that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive.
—Stephen Hawking (1942–2018) English Theoretical Physicist, Cosmologist, Academic
Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
—Pablo Picasso (1881–1973) Spanish Painter, Sculptor, Artist
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done.
—Andy Rooney (b.1919) American Writer, Humorist, TV Personality
Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest.
—Isaac Asimov (1920–92) Russian-born American Writer, Scientist
Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy.
—Joseph Campbell (1904–87) American Mythologist, Writer, Lecturer
Where the ENIAC is equipped with 18,000 vacuum tubes and weighs 30 tons, computers in the future may have only 1,000 vacuum tubes and weigh only 1 1/2 tons.
—Anonymous
Computers will never take the place of books. You can’t stand on a floppy disk to reach a high shelf.
—Sam Ewing (b.1949) American Sportsperson
It is hardly surprising that children should enthusiastically start their education at an early age with the Absolute Knowledge of computer science; while they are unable to read, for reading demands making judgments at every line. Conversation is almost dead, and soon so too will be those who knew how to speak.
—Guy Debord (1931–94) French Philosopher
On artificial intelligence: the real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do.
—B. F. Skinner (1904–90) American Psychologist, Social Philosopher, Inventor, Author
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft… and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
—Wernher von Braun (1912–77) German-born American Engineer, Scientist
If a trainstation is where the train stops, what’s a workstation..?
—Anonymous
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
—Thomas J. Watson, Sr. (1874–1956) American Business Executive
The computer is a moron.
—Peter Drucker (1909–2005) Austrian-born Management Consultant
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
—Isaac Asimov (1920–92) Russian-born American Writer, Scientist
All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors.
—Anonymous
Unless mankind redesigns itself by changing our DNA through altering our genetic makeup, computer-generated robots will take over our world.
—Stephen Hawking (1942–2018) English Theoretical Physicist, Cosmologist, Academic
Intel has announced its next chip: the Repentium.
—Anonymous
I only know one person who was able to write a program in ink and have it run the first time. That was Dick Bloch. He drove nearly all of us crazy because he could do that. Since the Mark I was a relay and step counter machine, it was not too difficult to change the circuits. Every once in a while, Dick would get the idea of a new circuit that would make his problem run faster. He’d get together with one of the operators during the night and they would fix the circuit. The next morning my programs wouldn’t run. It’s much better to have machines that the programers cannot alter.
Commander Aiken was a tough taskmaster. I was sitting at my desk one day, and he said, You’re going to write a book. I said, I can’t write a book. He said, You’re in the Navy now. And so I wrote a book. I have it here with me. This is the Mark I manual.
Howard Aiken always said that one day we would have computers that would fit in a shoe box. I don’t t know how he knew that, but he did.
—Grace Hopper (1906–92) American Naval Officer, Mathematician
What goes up must come down. Ask any system administrator.
—Anonymous
I see no reason why anyone would want a computer in their home.
—Kenneth H. Olsen (1926–2011) American Engineer, Businessperson
There will still be things that machines cannot do. They will not produce great art or great literature or great philosophy; they will not be able to discover the secret springs of happiness in the human heart; they will know nothing of love and friendship.
—Bertrand A. Russell (1872–1970) British Philosopher, Mathematician, Social Critic
The robot is going to lose. Not by much. But when the final score is tallied, flesh and blood is going to beat the damn monster.
—George Goodman (b.1930) American Economist, Author
Electronic aids, particularly domestic computers, will help the inner migration, the opting out of reality. Reality is no longer going to be the stuff out there, but the stuff inside your head. It’s going to be commercial and nasty at the same time.
—J. G. Ballard (1930–2009) English Novelist, Short Story Writer
It took us three years to build the NeXT computer. If we’d given customers what they said they wanted, we’d have built a computer they’d have been happy with a year after we spoke to them – not something they’d want now.
—Steve Jobs (1955–2011) American Entrepreneur, Businessperson
The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers.
—Sydney J. Harris (1917–86) American Essayist, Drama Critic
At the dictation of a mathematician, it will solve in a matter of hours equations never before solved because of their intricacy and the enormous time and personnel which would be required to work them out on ordinary office calculators.
—Anonymous
Want to make your computer go really fast? Throw it out a window.
—Anonymous
If you don’t know how to do something, you don’t know how to do it with a computer.
—Unknown
There is never finality in the display terminal’s screen, but an irresponsible whimsicality, as words, sentences, and paragraphs are negated at the touch of a key. The significance of the past, as expressed in the manuscript by a deleted word or an inserted correction, is annulled in idle gusts of electronic massacre.
—Alexander Claud Cockburn (1941–2012) Irish American Political Journalist
A computer will do what you tell it to do, but that may be much different from what you had in mind.
—Joseph Weizenbaum (1923–2008) German-born American Computer Scientist
I don’t think there’s anything unique about human intellience. All the nuerons in the brain that make up perceptions and emotions operate in a binary fashion.
—Bill Gates (b.1955) American Businessperson, Entrepreneur, Philanthropist, Author
Computers in the future will weigh no more than 1.5 tons.
—Unknown
The Next Computer: The hardware makes it a PC, the software makes it a workstation, the unit sales makes it a mainframe.
—Anonymous
I don’t think there’s anything unique about human intelligence. All the neurons in the brain that make up perceptions and emotions operate in a binary fashion. We can someday replicate that on a machine. Earthly life is carbon based and computers are
—Bill Gates (b.1955) American Businessperson, Entrepreneur, Philanthropist, Author
Computers are magnificent tools for the realization of our dreams, but no machine can replace the human spark of spirit, compassion, love, and understanding.
—Louis V. Gerstner Jr. (b.1942) American Businessman