A woman asking “Am I good? Am I satisfied?” is extremely selfish. The less women fuss about themselves, the less they talk to other women, the more they try to please their husbands, the happier the marriage is going to be.
—Barbara Cartland (1901–2000) English Popular Romantic Novelist
I take my wife everywhere I go. She always finds her way back.
—Henny Youngman (1906–98) Anglo-American Comedian, Violinist
Adam knew Eve his wife and she conceived. It is a pity that this is still the only knowledge of their wives at which some men seem to arrive.
—F. H. Bradley (1846–1924 ) British Idealist Philosopher
Choose a wife by your ear than your eye.
—Thomas Fuller (1608–61) English Cleric, Historian
Those graceful acts, those thousand decencies, that daily flow from all her words and actions, mixed with love and sweet compliance, which declare unfeigned union of mind, or in us both one soul.
—John Milton (1608–74) English Poet, Civil Servant, Scholar, Debater
Wives are people who feel they don’t dance enough.
—Groucho Marx (1890–1977) American Actor, Comedian, Singer
The philosophy of the common man is an old wife that gives him no pleasure, yet he cannot live without her, and resents any aspersions that strangers may cast on her character.
—George Santayana (1863–1952) Spanish-American Poet, Philosopher
The road to success is filled with women pushing their husbands along.
—Thomas Dewar, 1st Baron Dewar (1864–1930) Scottish Whisky Distiller
If you want to know about a man you can find out an awful lot by looking at who he married.
—Kirk Douglas (1916–2020) American Actor, Producer
When I think of a merry, happy, free young girl—and look at the ailing, aching state a young wife generally is doomed to—which you can’t deny is the penalty of marriage.
—Queen Victoria (1819–1901) British Royal
A man is in general better pleased when he has a good dinner upon his table than when his wife talks Greek.
—Samuel Johnson (1709–84) British Essayist
Never take a wife till thou hast a house (and a fire) to put her in.
—Benjamin Franklin (1706–90) American Political Leader, Inventor, Diplomat
If you are really Master of your Fate, it shouldn’t make any difference to you whether Cleopatra or the Bearded Lady is your mate.
—Ogden Nash (1902–71) American Writer of Sophisticated Light Verse
Progress is the law of life; man is not a man as yet.
—Robert Browning (1812–89) English Poet
If I was your wife Sir, I’d poison you! Madam, if you were my wife, I’d let you!
—Winston Churchill (1874–1965) British Leader, Historian, Journalist, Author
In your power, all the same. Subject to your will and your demands. No longer free! No! That’s a thought I’ll never endure! Never.
—Henrik Ibsen (1828–1906) Norwegian Playwright
In that second it dawned on me that I had been living here for eight years with a strange man and had borne him three children.
—Henrik Ibsen (1828–1906) Norwegian Playwright
A perfect wife is one who helps her husband with the dishes.
—Unknown
The true index of a man’s character is the health of his wife.
—Cyril Connolly (1903–74) British Literary Critic, Writer
Variability is one of the virtues of a woman. It avoids the crude requirement of polygamy. So long as you have one good wife you are sure to have a spiritual harem.
—G. K. Chesterton (1874–1936) English Journalist, Novelist, Essayist, Poet
The fact is that my wife if she had common sense would have more power over me than any other whatsoever, for my heart always alights upon the nearest perch.
—Lord Byron (George Gordon Byron) (1788–1824) English Romantic Poet
A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle.
—Charles Baudelaire (1821–67) French Poet, Art Critic, Essayist, Translator
Many a promising career has been wrecked by marrying the wrong sort of woman. The right sort of woman can distinguish between Creative Lassitude and plain shiftlessness.
—Robertson Davies (1913–95) Canadian Novelist, Playwright, Essayist
To suckle fools, and chronicle small beer.
—William Shakespeare (1564–1616) British Playwright
When a man opens the car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.
—Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh (1921–2021) Consort of Queen Elizabeth II
Marry a mountain girl and you marry the whole mountain.
—Irish Proverb
If ever two were one, then surely we. If ever man were loved by wife, then thee.
—Anne Bradstreet (1612–72) American Poet
He’s a fool that marries, but he’s a greater that does not marry a fool; what is wit in a wife good for, but to make a man a cuckold?
—William Wycherley (c.1640–1716) English Dramatist
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
—Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803–82) American Philosopher
He will hold thee, when his passion shall have spent its novel force, something better than his dog, a little dearer than his horse.
—Alfred, Lord Tennyson (1809–92) British Poet
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