The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf—it’s almost a law.
—H. G. Wells (1866–1946) English Novelist, Historian, Social Thinker
Gimme: an agreement between two losers who can’t putt.
—Jim Bishop (1907–87) American Author, Journalist, Columnist
It’s good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
—Mark Twain (1835–1910) American Humorist
You’ve got to be rich to have a swing like that
—Bob Hope (1903–2003) British-born American Comedian
A good lawyer makes a bad neighbor.
—English Proverb
If I had my way, any man guilty of golf would be barred from any public office in the United States and the families of the breed would be shipped off to the white slave corrals of Argentina.
—H. L. Mencken (1880–1956) American Journalist, Literary Critic
The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterflies in the adjoining meadows.
—P. G. Wodehouse (1881–1975) British Novelist, Short-story Writer, Playwright
Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.
—Jim Bishop (1907–87) American Author, Journalist, Columnist
The most rewarding things you do in life are often the ones that look like they cannot be done.
—Arnold Palmer (1929–2016) American Professional Golfer
I think I fail a bit less than everyone else.
—Jack Nicklaus (b.1940) American Sportsperson
Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because the cart cannot count, criticize or laugh
—Indian Proverb
People who work together will win, whether it be against complex football defenses, or the problems of modern society.
—Vince Lombardi, Jr. (1913–70) American Football Player, Coach
We have fifty-one golf courses in Palm Springs. He(Gerald Ford) never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot…At least he can’t cheat on his score- because all you have to do is look back down the fairway and count the wounded
—Bob Hope (1903–2003) British-born American Comedian
The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don’t know when it’s through if you are a crook or a martyr.
—Will Rogers (1879–1935) American Actor, Rancher, Humorist
In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf
—Indian Proverb
To some golfers, the greatest handicap is the ability to add correctly
—Unknown
What a shame to waste those great shots on the practice tee
—Walter Lippmann (1889–1974) American Journalist, Political Commentator
Golf is not and never has been a fair game.
—Jack Nicklaus (b.1940) American Sportsperson
Golf is like chasing a quinine pill around a cow pasture
—Winston Churchill (1874–1965) British Leader, Historian, Journalist, Author
It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.
—Hank Aaron (1934–2021) American Baseball Player
The worse you’re performing, the more you must work mentally and emotionally. The greatest and toughest art in golf is “playing badly well.” All the true greats have been masters at it.
—Jack Nicklaus (b.1940) American Sportsperson
Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller..
—Winston Churchill (1874–1965) British Leader, Historian, Journalist, Author
Golf is a wonderful exercise. You can stand on your feet for hours, watching somebody else putt
—Will Rogers (1879–1935) American Actor, Rancher, Humorist
I’ve always made a total effort, even when the odds seemed entirely against me. I never quit trying; I never felt that I didn’t have a chance to win.
—Arnold Palmer (1929–2016) American Professional Golfer
Isn’t it fun to go out on the course and lie in the sun?
—Bob Hope (1903–2003) British-born American Comedian
All is fair in love and golf.
—U.S. Proverb
The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don’t know when it’s through if you are a crook or a martyr.
—Will Rogers (1879–1935) American Actor, Rancher, Humorist
In golf as in life it is the follow through that makes the difference.
—Unknown
I play golf with friends sometimes, but there are never friendly games.
—Ben Hogan (1912–97) American Golfer
Golf is not, on the whole, a game for realists. By its exactitudes of measurements it invites the attention of perfectionists.
—Heywood Broun (1888–1939) American Journalist
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