The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.
—Fred Allen (1894–1956) American Comedian, Radio Personality
Here, the churches seemed to shrink away into eroding corners. They seem to have ceased to be essential parts of American life. They no longer give life. It is the huge buildings of commerce and trade which now align the people to attention. These in their massive manner of steel and stone say, Come unto me all ye who labor, and we will give you work.
—Sean O’Casey (1880–1964) Irish Dramatist, Memoirist
She say, Celie, tell the truth, have you ever found God in church? I never did. I just found a bunch of folks hoping for him to show. Any God I ever felt in church I brought in with me. And I think all the other folks did too. They come to church to share God, not find God.
—Alice Walker (b.1944) American Novelist, Activist
The act of bell ringing is symbolic of all proselytizing religions. It implies the pointless interference with the quiet of other people.
—Ezra Pound (1885-1972) American Poet, Translator, Critic
There is no heresy or no philosophy which is so abhorrent to the church as a human being.
—James Joyce (1882–1941) Irish Novelist, Poet
Nearly all the evils in the Church have arisen from bishops desiring power more than light. They want authority, not outlook.
—John Ruskin (1819–1900) English Writer, Art Critic
An instinctive taste teaches men to build their churches with spire steeples which point as with a silent finger to the sky and stars.
—Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772–1834) English Poet, Literary Critic, Philosopher
We praise Him, we bless Him, we adore Him, we glorify Him, and we wonder who is that baritone across the aisle and that pretty woman on our right who smells of apple blossoms. Our bowels stir and our cod itches and we amend our prayers for the spiritual life with the hope that it will not be too spiritual.
—John Cheever (1912–82) American Novelist, Short-story Writer
Mass ought to be in Latin, unless you could do it in Greek or Chinese. In fact, any abracadabra that no bloody member of the public or half-educated ape of a clargimint could think he understood.
—Ezra Pound (1885-1972) American Poet, Translator, Critic
This merriment of parsons is mighty offensive.
—Samuel Johnson (1709–84) British Essayist
A church is a place in which gentlemen who have never been to heaven brag about it to persons who will never get there.
—H. L. Mencken (1880–1956) American Journalist, Literary Critic
I don’t go to church. Kneeling bags my nylons.
—Billy Wilder (1906–2002) American Filmmaker
The priesthood is a marriage. People often start by falling in love, and they go on for years without realizing that love must change into some other love which is so unlike it that it can hardly be recognized as love at all.
—Iris Murdoch (1919–99) British Novelist, Playwright, Philosopher
Where God builds a church the devil builds a chapel.
—Martin Luther (1483–1546) German Protestant Theologian
Church attendance is as vital to a disciple as a transfusion of rich, healthy blood to a sick man.
—Dwight L. Moody (1837–99) Christian Religious Leader, Publisher
There is not in the universe a more ridiculous, nor a more contemptible animal, than a proud clergyman.
—Henry Fielding (1707–54) English Novelist, Dramatist
Churchgoers are like coals in a fire. When they cling together, they keep the flame aglow; when they separate, they die out.
—Billy Graham (1918–91) American Baptist Religious Leader
Many come to bring their clothes to church rather than themselves.
—Thomas Fuller (1608–61) English Cleric, Historian
How can a bishop marry? How can he flirt? The most he can say is “I will see you in the vestry after service.”
—Sydney Smith (1771–1845) English Clergyman, Essayist, Wit
The Pope is an idol whose hands are tied and whose feet are kissed.
—Voltaire (1694–1778) French Philosopher, Author
Be neither intimate nor distant with the clergy.
—Irish Proverb
It is indolence… Indolence and love of ease; a want of all laudable ambition, of taste for good company, or of inclination to take the trouble of being agreeable, which make men clergymen. A clergyman has nothing to do but be slovenly and selfish; read the newspaper, watch the weather, and quarrel with his wife. His curate does all the work and the business of his own life is to dine.
—Jane Austen (1775–1817) English Novelist
The Bible knows nothing of solitary religion.
—John Wesley (1703–91) British Methodist Leader, Preacher, Theologian
The root of almost every schism and heresy from which the Christian Church has suffered, has been because of the effort of men to earn, rather than receive their salvation; and the reason preaching is so commonly ineffective is, that it often calls on people to work for God rather than letting God work through them.
—John Ruskin (1819–1900) English Writer, Art Critic
What is wrong with priests and popes is that instead of being apostles and saints, they are nothing but empirics who say “I know” instead of “I am learning,” and pray for credulity and inertia as wise men pray for skepticism and activity.
—George Bernard Shaw (1856–1950) Irish Playwright
And of all plagues with which mankind are cursed, ecclesiastic tyranny’s the worst.
—Daniel Defoe (1659–1731) English Writer, Journalist, Pamphleteer
The Church has always been willing to swap off treasures in heaven for cash down.
—Robert G. Ingersoll (1833–99) American Lawyer, Orator, Agnostic
Yes, I see the Church as the body of Christ. But, oh! How we have blemished and scarred that body through social neglect and through fear of being nonconformists.
—Martin Luther King, Jr. (1929–68) American Civil Rights Leader, Clergyman
One hundred religious persons knit into a unity by careful organizations do not constitute a church any more than eleven dead men make a football team. The first requisite is life, always.
—A. W. Tozer (1897–1963) American Pastor, Author, Editor
The Church is not a gallery for the exhibition of eminent Christians, but a school for the education of imperfect ones.
—Henry Ward Beecher (1813–87) American Clergyman, Writer
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