Inspirational Quotations

Inspirational Quotes by Woody Allen (American Film Actor, Director)

Woody Allen (b.1935,) born Allen Stewart Konigsberg, legally Heywood Allen, is an American film director, writer, actor, and occasional jazz clarinetist. Allen is one of America’s most prominent filmmakers—his very personal films humorously explore themes that have always obsessed him: neurosis, sexual inadequacy, death, and the meaning of life. He once stated that his one regret in life is that he is not someone else.

Born in Brooklyn, New York City, Allen got expelled from both New York University and City College. He turned to a professional writing career, at first for television and comedians. In 1964, he decided to become a stand-up comedian himself. Performing in clubs and on television, he developed the persona of a neurotic eccentric in a sophisticated world. He made his film début scripting and acting in the popular What’s New, Pussycat? (1965.)

Allen’s movie projects were vehicles for his stand-up routines: Take the Money and Run (1969,) Bananas (1971,) Everything You Always Wanted to Know about Sex … But Were Afraid to Ask (1972,) Sleeper (1973,) and Love and Death (1975.)

Allen gained distinction with Annie Hall (1977,) which won Academy Awards for Best Director, Best Script, and Best Picture, and Manhattan (1979.) His subsequent films include Stardust Memories (1980,) Broadway Danny Rose (1984,) Hannah and Her Sisters (1986,) Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989,) Alice (1990,) Bullets over Broadway (1994,) Mighty Aphrodite (1995,) Everyone Says I Love You (1996,) and Midnight in Paris (2011.)

Allen’s celebrity extended to his off-screen life as well. He has been married two times previously, and had romantic relationships with actresses Stacey Nelkin, Diane Keaton, and Mia Farrow. In 1992, reports emerged that the 57-year-old Allen was having an affair with Farrow’s 21-year-old adopted daughter Soon-Yi Previn—she became Allen’s third and current wife.

Allen’s notable works include Getting Even (1971,) The Complete Prose of Woody Allen (1992,) and Insanity Defense (2007.)

More: Wikipedia • READ: Works by Woody Allen

Show business is not so much ‘dog eats dog’ as ‘dog doesn’t return other dog’s phone calls.’
—Woody Allen

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Laughter

I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year for cheating on my metaphysics final. You know, I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Philosophy

Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Humankind, Sex

The lion and the calf will lay down together, but the calf won’t get much sleep..
—Woody Allen
Topics: Marriage

Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Fun

Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought—particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Science, Space

Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Confidence

I think being funny is not anyone’s first choice.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Comedy, Art

If you’re not failing, you’re not trying anything.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Mistakes, Failures

I am at two with nature.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Nature

I’m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Gold

I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don’t want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen; I want to live on in my apartment.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Achievement, Fame, Accomplishment, Immortality

When we played softball, I’d steal second base, feel guilty and go back
—Woody Allen
Topics: Baseball

Eighty percent of success is showing up.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Inaction, Getting Going, Success & Failure, Procrastination, Success

My one regret in life is that I’m not someone else.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Remorse, Regret, Disappointment

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Goals, Success

When we lose twenty pounds… we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Weight, Diet

If it weren’t for problems, the work day would be over by 10 a.m.
—Woody Allen

Marriage is the death of hope.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Marriage

If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he wouldn’t be able to stop throwing up.
—Woody Allen

I don’t respond well to mellow, you know what I mean, I have a tendency to… if I get too mellow, I ripen and then rot.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Drugs

A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said ‘no’.
—Woody Allen

My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers
—Woody Allen
Topics: School

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Love, Feelings

It shows exactly what you can do if you’re a total psychotic.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Possibilities, Potential

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Doubt, Give, God, Money, Skepticism

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Sex

Showing up is 80 percent of life.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Time Management, Value of Time

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily as lying down.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Death

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