Inspirational Quotations

Inspirational Quotes by W. C. Fields (American Comedian)

W. C. Fields (1880–1946,) fully William Claude Dukenfield, was an American comedian, actor, and writer known for his distinctive, acerbic humor and mastery of slapstick comedy. He became one of the most popular and influential comedic actors of the early 20th century, famed for his roles in film, his stage performances, and his sharp wit.

Born in Darby, Pennsylvania, as William Claude Dukenfield, Fields was the son of a working-class family. He attended Central High School in Philadelphia but dropped out at a young age to pursue a career in entertainment. Initially working as a juggler and circus performer, he honed his comedic timing and physical comedy skills. His early work in vaudeville provided a platform to develop his on-stage persona, characterized by his dry wit, love of alcohol, and disdain for authority.

Fields’ comedic style was marked by his cynical view of the world, which endeared him to audiences. Despite his persona as a misanthropic drinker, his performances revealed a deeper complexity, blending warmth and vulnerability with his abrasive exterior. Gaining fame in Hollywood in the 1920s, he transitioned to film, becoming one of the era’s top comedic actors. His roles in films such as It’s a Gift (1934,) The Bank Dick (1940,) and My Little Chickadee (1940) cemented his reputation as a master of comedy. Known for his impeccable timing, absurd situations, and sharp one-liners, he became a cultural icon. He also wrote several books, including W. C. Fields by Himself (1947,) a posthumous autobiography showcasing his sharp humor and offbeat perspective on life.

More: Wikipedia • READ: Works by W. C. Fields

Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Worry

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: World

Horse sense is a good judgement which keeps horses from betting on people.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Gambling

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
—W. C. Fields

Start every day with a smile, and get it over with.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Smiles, Smile

My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Value

Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Life and Living

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Poverty, Wealth, Money, Just for Fun

I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Cities, City Life

I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Worry

I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Greatness

My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
—W. C. Fields

I never drink water. I’m afraid it will become habit-forming.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Alcoholism, Alcohol

Somebody left the cork out of my lunch.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Alcohol, Alcoholism

It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Confidence

During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Wine

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Hate, Prejudice

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Horses

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink; that is the one thing I am indebted to her for.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Wine

Show me a great actor and I’ll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you’ve seen the devil.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Acting, Actors

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
—W. C. Fields

A woman drove me to drink, and I’ll be a son-of-a-gun but I never even wrote to thank her.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Wine

Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn’t want to own one.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Women

It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Justice

A man’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another drink.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Funny quotes, Alcohol, Belief

You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Alcohol, Alcoholism

After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Health

If at first, you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.
—W. C. Fields

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
—W. C. Fields

Any man who hates children can’t be all bad.
—W. C. Fields
Topics: Children

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