In the Halls of Justice, the only justice is in the halls.
—Lenny Bruce
Topics: Justice
Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.
—Lenny Bruce
Topics: God, Religion
All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil, without disease and violence, I’d be standing on the breadline right in back of J. Edgar Hoover.
—Lenny Bruce
Topics: Humor
The liberals can understand everything but people who don’t understand them.
—Lenny Bruce
Topics: Liberalism
Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.
—Lenny Bruce
The reason I’m in this business, I assume all performers are—it’s “Look at me, Ma!” It’s acceptance, you know—“Look at me, Ma, look at me, Ma, look at me, Ma.” And if your mother watches, you’ll show off till you’re exhausted; but if your mother goes, Ptshew!
—Lenny Bruce
Communism is like one big phone company.
—Lenny Bruce
Topics: Socialism, Communism
I won’t say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like ‘What I’m going to be if I grow up’.
—Lenny Bruce
The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.
—Lenny Bruce
Topics: Humor, Audiences
Today’s comedian has a cross to bear that he built himself. A comedian of the older generation did an “act” and he told the audience, “This is my act.” Today’s comic is not doing an act. The audience assumes he’s telling the truth. What is truth today may be a damn lie next week.
—Lenny Bruce
Topics: Comedy
A lot of people say to me, “Why did you kill Christ?.” “I dunno… it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know.” “We killed him because he didn’t want to become a doctor, that’s why we killed him.”
—Lenny Bruce
Topics: Christianity
The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can’t fake it… try to fake three laughs in an hour—ha ha ha ha ha—they’ll take you away, man. You can’t.
—Lenny Bruce
Topics: Comedy
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- Groucho Marx American Actor
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- Steven Wright American Comedian
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