If a girl looks swell when she meets you, who gives a damn if she’s late? Nobody.
—J. D. Salinger
Topics: Women
You don’t have to think too hard when you talk to teachers.
—J. D. Salinger
Topics: Education
Boy, when you’re dead, they really fix you up. I hope to hell when I do die somebody has sense enough to just dump me in the river or something. Anything except sticking me in a goddam cemetery. People coming and putting a bunch of flowers on your stomach on Sunday, and all that crap. Who wants flowers when you’re dead? Nobody.
—J. D. Salinger
Topics: Death
People always think something’s all true.
—J. D. Salinger
Topics: Truth
When I really worry about something, I don’t just fool around. I even have to go to the bathroom when I worry about something. Only, I don’t go. I’m too worried to go. I don’t want to interrupt my worrying to go.
—J. D. Salinger
Topics: Worry
The fact is always obvious much too late, but the most singular difference between happiness and joy is that happiness is a solid and joy a liquid.
—J. D. Salinger
Topics: Happiness
Mothers are all slightly insane.
—J. D. Salinger
Topics: Insanity
I was half in love with her by the time we sat down. That’s the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they’re not much to look at, or even if they’re sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are.
—J. D. Salinger
Topics: Love
I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.
—J. D. Salinger
Topics: Happiness, Psychiatry
Girls. You never know what they’re going to think.
—J. D. Salinger
Topics: Girls
Wondering Whom to Read Next?
- Mel Brooks American Film Actor
- Kirk Douglas American Actor
- Carl Reiner American Comedian
- Woody Allen American Film Actor, Director
- Bernard Malamud American Novelist
- E. L. Doctorow American Novelist
- Cornelia Otis Skinner American Actress, Playwright
- Robert De Niro American Actor
- Jenny McCarthy American Actor
- John Wayne American Actor
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