A funeral eulogy is a belated plea for the defense delivered after the evidence is all in.
—Irvin S. Cobb
Topics: Defense
Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn.
—Irvin S. Cobb
Topics: Humor
If writers were good businessmen, they’d have too much sense to be writers.
—Irvin S. Cobb
Topics: Writers, Authors & Writing
An epitaph is a belated advertisement for a line of goods that has been discontinued.
—Irvin S. Cobb
Topics: Epitaphs
You couldn’t tell if she was dressed for an opera or an operation.
—Irvin S. Cobb
Topics: Fashion
A sudden violent jolt of it has been known to stop the victim’s watch, snap his suspenders and crack his glass eye right across.
—Irvin S. Cobb
Topics: Alcohol, Alcoholism
As I understand it, sport is hard work for which you do not get paid.
—Irvin S. Cobb
Topics: Sports
A good storyteller is a person who has a good memory and hopes other people haven’t.
—Irvin S. Cobb
Topics: Memory
Wondering Whom to Read Next?
- Mark Twain American Humorist
- Leo Rosten American Humorist
- Richard J. Needham Canadian Humorist
- Thomas Masson American Journalist
- Robert Quillen American Journalist
- Sam Levenson American Humorist, Writer
- Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw) American Humorist
- Bill Bryson American Humorist
- Fred Allen American Comedian
- Charles Farrar Browne (Artemus Ward) American Humorist
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