Inspirational Quotations

Inspirational Quotes by Henny Youngman (American Comedian, Violinist)

Henry “Henny” Youngman (1906–98,) a British-born American comedian and violinist, earned his enduring moniker as the ‘King of the One-Liners’ over a remarkable career spanning seven decades. His comedic genius made him a beloved figure in the world of stand-up comedy.

Born in London, England, Youngman’s trademark style was characterized by the rapid-fire delivery of one-liners, often featuring his signature phrase, “Take my wife, please.” His razor-sharp wit and impeccable comedic timing established him as a fixture in vaudeville, radio, and later, television.

Youngman’s impact resonated through his dynamic performances. He became a household name through appearances on iconic shows like The Ed Sullivan Show and The Tonight Show, where his quick and humorous quips endeared him to a broad audience.

Beyond his comedic prowess, Youngman showcased his musical talents as an accomplished violinist, adding another layer to his multifaceted career. In recognition of his contributions, he received a Grammy Award for his comedic album 90 Years of Great Laughs in 1994.

More: Wikipedia • READ: Works by Henny Youngman

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
—Henny Youngman
Topics: Shopping

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
—Henny Youngman

My wife is a light eater. As soon as it’s light, she starts to eat.
—Henny Youngman
Topics: Weight, Diet

I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn’t come in until half-past five.
—Henny Youngman

What is a home without children?. Quiet.
—Henny Youngman
Topics: Children, One liners

I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o clock.
—Henny Youngman
Topics: Money

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
—Henny Youngman
Topics: Alcohol, Drinking

What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money.
—Henny Youngman

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up—they have no holidays.
—Henny Youngman
Topics: Holidays

If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for in the morning, sleep late.
—Henny Youngman
Topics: Regret, Morning, Sleeping

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
—Henny Youngman
Topics: Marriage, Secrets

I take my wife everywhere I go. She always finds her way back.
—Henny Youngman
Topics: Wives, Marriage

When I told my doctor I couldn’t afford an operation, he offered to touch up my X rays.
—Henny Youngman
Topics: Health

You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
—Henny Youngman
Topics: Love

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