Inspirational Quotations

Inspirational Quotes by George Burns (American Comedian)

George Burns (1896–1996,) originally Nathan Birnbaum, was an American comedian and movie actor. Celebrated for his comedy partnership with his wife Gracie Allen, he won an Oscar for the film The Sunshine Boys (1975.)

Born in New York City, Burns sang for pennies at street corners to support his family after his father died. He started his career at the age of seven, performing in a quartet of child singers. He later broke into vaudeville as a comedian.

Burns and his wife, Gracie Allen (Grace Ethel Cecile Rosalie,) performed as a comedy team 1923–58, in which he portrayed the straight-man role of a sometimes patient, sometimes frustrated husband to her scatterbrained wife. They brought their vaudeville act to radio as The Burns & Allen Show (1932–50,) to television as The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show (1950–58,) and to films.

Burns retired from show business after Allen’s death in 1964 but returned to acting in the late 1970s, winning an Academy Award for his performance as an old vaudevillian in The Sunshine Boys (1975.) He also appeared in numerous other films and television specials including Oh God (1977,) Going in Style (1979,) Just You and Me, Kid (1979,) Oh God! Book II (1980,) Oh God! You Devil (1984,) and 18 Again (1988.)

Burns produced the memoirs I Love Her, That’s Why! (1955,) Living It Up, or They Still Love Me in Altoona (1976,) Gracie: A Love Story (1988,) and 100 Years, 100 Stories (1996.)

More: Wikipedia • READ: Works by George Burns

By the time you’re eighty years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.
—George Burns
Topics: Aging, Age

Life’s but a day at most.
—George Burns
Topics: Life and Living

Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.
—George Burns
Topics: Business, Goals, Goal

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
—George Burns
Topics: Honesty, Acting

It’s too bad the people who really know how to run the country are so busy cutting hair and driving taxis.
—George Burns

I look better, feel better, make love better and I’ll tell you something else….I never lied better.
—George Burns
Topics: Authors & Writing

It’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.
—George Burns
Topics: Age, Aging

Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
—George Burns
Topics: Sex

I’d rather be a failure in something that I love than a success in something that I hate.
—George Burns
Topics: Work, Failure, Talents, Abilities

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
—George Burns
Topics: Politics, Just for Fun, Government

I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
—George Burns
Topics: Success, Passion, Failure

If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.
—George Burns
Topics: Age

Everyday happiness means getting up in the morning, and you can’t wait to finish your breakfast. You can’t wait to do your exercises. You can’t wait to put on your clothes. You can’t wait to get out—and you can’t wait to come home, because the soup is hot.
—George Burns
Topics: Joy

Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
—George Burns

You know you’re getting old when you stop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.
—George Burns
Topics: Age

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
—George Burns
Topics: Drinking

You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.
—George Burns
Topics: Age, Aging

How can I die? I’m booked.
—George Burns
Topics: Age, Aging

Be quick to learn and wise to know.
—George Burns
Topics: Learning

Look to the future, because that is where you’ll spend the rest of your life.
—George Burns
Topics: Life and Living

Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
—George Burns
Topics: Sex

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.
—George Burns
Topics: Stress, Worry

The secret of a good sermon is
to have a good beginning and a good ending,
then having the two as close together as possible.
—George Burns
Topics: Speech

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
—George Burns
Topics: Retirement

Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
—George Burns
Topics: Humor

I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.
—George Burns
Topics: The Future

If it’s a good script I’ll do it. And if it’s a bad script, and they pay me enough, I’ll do it.
—George Burns
Topics: Hollywood

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
—George Burns
Topics: Funny quotes, Family

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