Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.
—Phyllis Diller (b.1917) American Actor, Comedian
Be not affronted at a jest; if one throw ever so much salt at thee thou wilt receive no harm unless thou art raw and ulcerous.
—Junius Unidentified English Writer
In the midst of the fountain of wit there arises something bitter, which stings in the very flowers.
—Lucretius (c.99–55 BCE) Roman Epicurean Poet, Philosopher
Every survival kit should include a sense of humor.
—Unknown
There’s a helluva distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.
—Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) American Humorist, Journalist
Advice is sometimes transmitted more successfully through a joke than grave teaching.
—Baltasar Gracian (1601–58) Spanish Scholar, Prose Writer
I realize that humor isn’t for everyone. It’s only for people who want to have fun, enjoy life, and feel alive.
—Anne Wilson Schaef (1934–2020) American Clinical Psychologist
Love is an attachment to another self. Humor is a form of self-detachment—a way of looking at one’s existence, one’s misfortune, or one’s discomfort. If you really love, if you really know how to laugh, the result is the same: you forget yourself
—Unknown
There is certainly no defense against adverse fortune which is, on the whole, so effectual as an habitual sense of humor.
—Thomas Wentworth Higginson (1823–1911) American Social Reformer, Clergyman
A pun does not commonly justify a blow in return. But if a blow were given for such cause, and death ensued, the jury would be judges both of the facts and of the pun, and might, if the latter were of an aggravated character, return a verdict of justifiable homicide.
—Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. (1809–94) American Physician, Essayist
I have always preferred cheerfulness to mirth. The former is an act, the latter a habit of the mind. Mirth is short and transient; cheerfulness, fixed and permanent. Mirth is like a flash of lightning, that breaks through a gloom of clouds, and glitters for a moment. Cheerfulness keeps up a kind of daylight in the mind, filling it with a steady and perpetual serenity.
—Joseph Addison (1672–1719) English Essayist, Poet, Playwright, Politician
I live in a constant endeavor to fence against the infirmities of ill-health, and other evils of life, by mirth. I am persuaded that every time a man smiles—but much more so when he laughs—it adds something to this fragment of life.
—Laurence Sterne (1713–68) Irish Anglican Novelist, Clergyman
Wit is the salt of conversation, not the food.
—William Hazlitt (1778–1830) English Essayist
‘Tis no extravagant arithmetic to say, that for every ten jokes, thou hast got an hundred enemies; and till thou hast gone on, and raised a swarm of wasps about thine ears, and art half stung to death by them, thou wilt never be convinced it is so.
—Laurence Sterne (1713–68) Irish Anglican Novelist, Clergyman
It is well known that Beauty does not look with a good grace on the timid advances of Humor.
—W. Somerset Maugham (1874–1965) British Novelist, Short-Story Writer, Playwright
A man renowned for repartee will seldom scruple to make free with friendship’s finest feeling, will thrust a dagger at your breast, and say he wounded you in jest, by way of balm for healing.
—William Cowper (1731–1800) English Anglican Poet, Hymn writer
There is no credit to being a comedian, when you have the whole Government working for you. All you have to do is report the facts. I don’t even have to exaggerate.
—Will Rogers (1879–1935) American Actor, Rancher, Humorist
Keep your sense of humor. As General Joe Stillwell said, “The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of his behind.”
—Donald Rumsfeld (1932–2021) U.S. Secretary of Defense
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
—E. B. White (1985–99) American Essayist, Humorist
A sense of humor is a major defense against minor troubles.
—Mignon McLaughlin (1913–83) American Journalist, Author
The comic is the perception of the opposite; humor is the feeling of it.
—Umberto Eco (1932–2016) Italian Novelist
I think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it.
—Frank A. Clark
Sometimes we are inclined to class those who are once-and-a-half witted with the half-witted, because we appreciate only a third part of their wit.
—Henry David Thoreau (1817–62) American Philosopher
With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.
—Abraham Lincoln (1809–65) American Head of State
Humor—the perfect relationship of the parts to the whole.
—Unknown
True humor springs not more from the head than from the heart.—It is not contempt; its essence is love.—It issues not in laughter, but in still smiles, which lie far deeper.
—Thomas Carlyle (1795–1881) Scottish Historian, Essayist
His hilarity was like a scream from a crevasse.
—Graham Greene (1904–91) British Novelist, Playwright, Short Story Writer
Suppose the world were only one of God’s jokes, would you work any the less to make it a good joke instead of a bad one?
—George Bernard Shaw (1856–1950) Irish Playwright
A keen sense of humor helps us to overlook the unbecoming, understand the unconventional, tolerate the unpleasant, overcome the unexpected, and outlast the unbearable.
—Billy Graham (1918–91) American Baptist Religious Leader
True wit is nature to advantage dressed, what oft was thought, but never so well expressed.
—Alexander Pope (1688–1744) English Poet
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