A good storyteller is a person who has a good memory and hopes other people haven’t.
—Irvin S. Cobb
Topics: Memory
As I understand it, sport is hard work for which you do not get paid.
—Irvin S. Cobb
Topics: Sports
An epitaph is a belated advertisement for a line of goods that has been discontinued.
—Irvin S. Cobb
Topics: Epitaphs
If writers were good businessmen, they’d have too much sense to be writers.
—Irvin S. Cobb
Topics: Writers, Authors & Writing
You couldn’t tell if she was dressed for an opera or an operation.
—Irvin S. Cobb
Topics: Fashion
Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn.
—Irvin S. Cobb
Topics: Humor
A funeral eulogy is a belated plea for the defense delivered after the evidence is all in.
—Irvin S. Cobb
Topics: Defense
A sudden violent jolt of it has been known to stop the victim’s watch, snap his suspenders and crack his glass eye right across.
—Irvin S. Cobb
Topics: Alcohol, Alcoholism
Wondering Whom to Read Next?
Mark Twain American Humorist
Leo Rosten Russian-born American Humorist
Richard J. Needham Canadian Humorist
Thomas Masson American Journalist
Robert Quillen American Journalist
Sam Levenson American Humorist
Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw) American Humorist
Bill Bryson American Humorist
Fred Allen American Humorist
Charles Farrar Browne (Artemus Ward) American Humorist