When I was a boy I used to do what my father wanted. Now I have to do what my boy wants. My problem is: When am I going to do what I want?
Love at first sight is easy to understand? It’s when two people have been looking at each other for years that it becomes a miracle.
For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run his fingers through it once a day. For poise, walk with the knowledge you’ll never walk alone.
Any kid who has two parents who are interested in him and a houseful of books isn’t poor.
You can’t start at the top.
It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, “Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, you’ll find one at the end of your arm.”
It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and say the opposite.
If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her little brother.
It’s a good thing that when God created the rainbow he didn’t consult a decorator or he would still be picking colors.
Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped
The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate, is called a grandparent.
Wondering Whom to Read Next?
- Leo Rosten Russian-born American Humorist
- Thomas Masson American Journalist
- Robert Quillen American Journalist
- Andy Rooney American Writer
- Don Marquis American Humorist, Journalist
- S. J. Perelman American Humorist
- Charles Farrar Browne (Artemus Ward) American Humorist
- Don Herold American Humorist
- Mark Twain American Humorist
- Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw) American Humorist