His hilarity was like a scream from a crevasse.
—Graham Greene (1904–91) British Novelist, Playwright, Short Story Writer
A joke, even if it be a lame one, is nowhere so keenly relished or quickly applauded as in a murder trial.
—Mark Twain (1835–1910) American Humorist
The aim of a joke is not to degrade the human being, but to remind him that he is already degraded
—George Orwell (1903–50) English Novelist, Journalist
Jokes are grievances.
—Marshall Mcluhan (1911–80) Canadian Writer, Thinker, Educator
In polite society one laughs at all the jokes, including the ones one has heard before.
—Frank Lane (1896–1981) American Sportsperson, Businessperson
All human race would be wits. And millions miss, for one that hits.
—Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) Irish Satirist
My way of joking is to tell the truth; it’s the funniest joke in the world.
—George Bernard Shaw (1856–1950) Irish Playwright
I don’t mind making jokes, but I don’t want to look like one.
—Marilyn Monroe (1926–62) American Actor, Model, Singer
All womankind, from the highest to the lowest love jokes; the difficulty is to know how they choose to have them cut; and there is no knowing that, but by trying, as we do with our artillery in the field, by raising or letting down their breeches, till we hit the mark.
—Laurence Sterne (1713–68) Irish Anglican Novelist, Clergyman
Prithee don’t screw your wit beyond the compass of good manners.
—Colley Cibber (1671–1757) English Playwright, Poet, Actor
Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee and I’ll forgive Thy great big one on me.
—Robert Frost (1874–1963) American Poet
I should stop myself from dying if a good joke or a good idea occurred to me
—Voltaire (1694–1778) French Philosopher, Author
Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio: a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy. Where be your jibes now, your gambols, your songs, your flashes of merriment that were wont to set the table on a roar?
—William Shakespeare (1564–1616) British Playwright
I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
—Will Rogers (1879–1935) American Actor, Rancher, Humorist
The crisis of yesterday is the joke of tomorrow.
—H. G. Wells (1866–1946) English Novelist, Historian, Social Thinker
The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
—Will Rogers (1879–1935) American Actor, Rancher, Humorist
If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
—Groucho Marx (1890–1977) American Actor, Comedian, Singer
‘Tis no extravagant arithmetic to say, that for every ten jokes, thou hast got an hundred enemies; and till thou hast gone on, and raised a swarm of wasps about thine ears, and art half stung to death by them, thou wilt never be convinced it is so.
—Laurence Sterne (1713–68) Irish Anglican Novelist, Clergyman
A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents.
—Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (1742–99) German Philosopher, Physicist
The reformer for whom the world is not good enough finds himself shoulder to shoulder with him that is not good enough for the world.
—George Bernard Shaw (1856–1950) Irish Playwright
Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie… a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion.
—George Orwell (1903–50) English Novelist, Journalist
Advice is sometimes transmitted more successfully through a joke than grave teaching.
—Baltasar Gracian (1601–58) Spanish Scholar, Prose Writer
The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.
—David Ogilvy (1911–99) British-American Advertising Executive
Be not affronted at a jest; if one throw ever so much salt at thee thou wilt receive no harm unless thou art raw and ulcerous.
—Junius Unidentified English Writer
He jests at scars that never felt a wound.
—William Shakespeare (1564–1616) British Playwright
A caricature is putting the face of a joke on the body of a truth.
—Joseph Conrad (1857–1924) Polish-born British Novelist
My life has been one great big joke,
A dance that’s walked,
A song that’s spoke,
I laugh so hard I almost choke,
When I think about myself.
—Maya Angelou (1928–2014) American Poet
A difference of taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
—George Eliot (Mary Anne Evans) (1819–80) English Novelist
If all else fails, the character of a man can be recognized by nothing so surely as by a jest which he takes badly.
—Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (1742–99) German Philosopher, Physicist
I gleaned jests at home from obsolete farces.
—Samuel Johnson (1709–84) British Essayist
A joke without a point, inane and bald, itself a joke on joking may be called
—Menander (c.343–c.291 BCE) Greek Comic Dramatist, Poet
A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke-and that the joke is oneself.
—Clifton Fadiman (1904–99) American Author, Radio Personality
Suppose the world were only one of God’s jokes, would you work any the less to make it a good joke instead of a bad one?
—George Bernard Shaw (1856–1950) Irish Playwright
A pun does not commonly justify a blow in return. But if a blow were given for such cause, and death ensued, the jury would be judges both of the facts and of the pun, and might, if the latter were of an aggravated character, return a verdict of justifiable homicide.
—Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. (1809–94) American Physician, Essayist
The old idea that the joke was not good enough for the company has been superseded by the new aristocratic idea that the company was not worthy of the joke. They have introduced an almost insane individualism into that one form of intercourse which is specially and uproariously communal. They have made even levities into secrets. They have made laughter lonelier than tears.
—G. K. Chesterton (1874–1936) English Journalist, Novelist, Essayist, Poet
That’s what makes us a great nation. We take the little things serious, and the big ones as a joke.
—Will Rogers (1879–1935) American Actor, Rancher, Humorist
Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is pleased to call a “joke.”
—Ambrose Bierce (1842–1913) American Short-story Writer, Journalist
The average man is proof enough that a woman can take a joke.
—Unknown