I have no Politics. I am for the Party that is out of Power, no matter which one it is. But I will give you my word that, in case of my appointment, I will not be a Republican; I will do my best to pull with you, and not embarrass you. In fact, my views on European affairs are so in accord with You, Mr. President, that I might almost be suspected of being a Democrat.
—Will Rogers
Things will get better—despite our efforts to improve them.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Progress
The best way out of a difficulty is through it.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Action, Difficulties, Difficulty
The best doctor is the veterinarian. He can’t ask his patients what is the matter- he’s got to just know.
—Will Rogers
Successful colleges will start laying plans for a new stadium; unsuccessful ones will start hunting a new coach.
—Will Rogers
If you ever injected truth into politics, you would have no politics.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Truth, Politics
The trouble with our praying is, we just do it as a means of last resort.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Prayer
A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Learning, Reading
I originated a remark many years ago that I think has been copied more than any little thing that Ive every said, and I used it in the FOLLIES of 1922. I said America has a unique record. We never lost a war and we never won a conference in our lives. I believe that we could without any degree of egotism, single-handed lick any nation in the world. But we cant confer with Costa Rica and come home with our shirts on.
—Will Rogers
We always want the best man to win an election. Unfortunately, he never runs.
—Will Rogers
If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn’t have to advertise them.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Advertising
People’s minds are changed through observation and not through argument.
—Will Rogers
The main thing about being a hero is to know when to die.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Heroes/Heroism, Heroes
When I die, my epitaph or whatever you call those signs on gravestones is going to read: I joked about every prominent man of my time, but I never met a man I dident like. I am so proud of that I can hardly wait to die so it can be carved. And when you come to my grave you will find me sitting there, proudly reading it.
—Will Rogers
The fellow that can only see a week ahead is always the popular fellow, for he is looking with the crowd. But the one that can see years ahead, he has a telescope but he can’t make anybody believe he has it.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Dreams, Vision
Do anything in this world but monkey with somebody else’s religion. What reasoning of conceit makes anyone think theirs is right?
—Will Rogers
Topics: Religion
That’s one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living.
—Will Rogers
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
—Will Rogers
You’ve got to be an optimist to be a Democrat, and youve got to be a humorist to stay one.
—Will Rogers
For the American people are a very generous people and will forgive almost any weakness, with the possible exception of stupidity.
—Will Rogers
Live that you wouldn’t be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Gossip, Character, Integrity
A comedian can only last ’til he either takes himself serious or his audience takes him serious.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Audiences
We can make this thing into a Party, instead of a Memory.
—Will Rogers
There ain’t nothing that breaks up homes, country, and nations like somebody publishing their memoirs.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Biography
You politicians have got to look further ahead; you always got a Putter in your hands, when you ought to have a Driver.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Foresight
The Republicans have their splits right after election and Democrats have theirs just before an election.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Elections
See where Congress passed a two billion dollar bill to relieve bankers’ mistakes. You can always count on us helping those who have lost part of their fortune, but our whole history records nary a case where the loan was for the man who had absolutely nothing. Our theory is to help only those who can get along, even if they don’t get a loan.
—Will Rogers
America is a great country, but you can’t live in it for nothing.
—Will Rogers
Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due
—Will Rogers
Topics: Worry
I have always said that a conference was held for one reason only, to give everybody a chance to get sore at everybody else. Sometimes it takes two or three conferences to scare up a war, but generally one will do it.
—Will Rogers
Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
—Will Rogers
I tell you folks, all politics is applesauce.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Politicians, Politics
Liberty doesn’t work as well in practice as it does in speeches.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Liberty, Freedom, Speech
I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Government, Jokes
An economist’s guess is liable to be as good as anybody else’s.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Economics
We can’t all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Success, Heroes/Heroism, Heroes, Failure
Communism is like prohibition, it is a good idea, but it won’t work.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Communism
In order to succeed, you must know what you are doing, like what you are doing, and believe in what you are doing.
—Will Rogers
There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail.
—Will Rogers
Topics: Politics, Politicians
There is no credit to being a comedian, when you have the whole Government working for you. All you have to do is report the facts. I don’t even have to exaggerate.
—Will Rogers
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