Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce (1842–1914) was an American short-story writer, and journalist. A prominent journalist in California, London, and Washington, D.C., he is celebrated for his realistic and sardonic short stories on the themes of death and horror.
Born in Meigs County, Ohio, Bierce grew up in Indiana and fought for the Union in the Civil War 1861–65. In the United Kingdom 1872–75, he wrote copy for Fun and other magazines. He relocated to California in 1887 and joined the San Francisco Examiner, later editing for San Francisco Argonaut and San Francisco Illustrated Wasp.
Bierce wrote Tales of Soldiers and Civilians (1892; later In the Midst of Life, 1892.) His most famous story, ‘An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge,’ which is a haunted, near-death fantasy of escape, was influenced by Edgar Allan Poe and consecutively influenced Stephen Crane and Ernest Hemingway.
In 1896, Bierce moved to Washington, D.C., where he continued writing for newspapers and magazines. He compiled the much-quoted volume of ironic and bitter definitions Cynic’s Word Book (1906; now called The Devil’s Dictionary.) In 1913, he went to Mexico to report on revolutionary Pancho Villa’s army and disappeared without explanation.
More: Wikipedia • READ: Works by Ambrose Bierce
Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
—Ambrose Bierce
Topics: Justice
Saint, n. A dead sinner revised and edited.
—Ambrose Bierce
Topics: Saints, Perspective
Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
—Ambrose Bierce
Opiate. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.
—Ambrose Bierce
Topics: Drugs
A man is known by the company he organizes.
—Ambrose Bierce
Topics: Management
Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
—Ambrose Bierce
Topics: Eating
Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Misses (Mrs.) and Mister (Mr.) are the three most distinctly disagreeable words in the language, in sound and sense. Two are corruptions of Mistress, the other of Master. If we must have them, let us be consistent and give one to the unmarried man. I venture to suggest Mush, abbreviated to MH.
—Ambrose Bierce
Topics: Identity, Names
OPTIMISM, n. The doctrine, or belief, that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything right that is wrong. It is held with greatest tenacity by those most accustomed to the mischance of falling into adversity, and is most acceptably expounded with the grin that apes a smile. Being a blind faith, it is inaccessible to the light of disproof—an intellectual disorder, yielding to no treatment but death. It is hereditary, but fortunately not contagious.
—Ambrose Bierce
Topics: Disorder, Optimism
A bore is a person who talks when you wish him to listen.
—Ambrose Bierce
Topics: Boredom
Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
—Ambrose Bierce
Topics: Patriotism
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
—Ambrose Bierce
Topics: Prayer
Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
—Ambrose Bierce
Topics: Ambition
Christians and camels receive their burdens kneeling.
—Ambrose Bierce
Topics: Christian
Beauty. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
—Ambrose Bierce
Topics: Beauty
The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.
—Ambrose Bierce
Topics: Honesty
Patience is a minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.
—Ambrose Bierce
Topics: Patience
Politeness: The most acceptable hypocrisy.
—Ambrose Bierce
Topics: Politeness, One liners, Manners, Hypocrisy
Property, n. Any material thing, having no particular value, that may be held by A against the cupidity of B. Whatever gratifies the passion for possession in one and disappoints it in all others. The object of man’s brief rapacity and long indifference.
—Ambrose Bierce
Topics: Property
Applause is the echo of a platitude.
—Ambrose Bierce
Topics: Praise
Woman absent is woman dead.
—Ambrose Bierce
Topics: Absence
Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
—Ambrose Bierce
Topics: Mothers
Impartial. Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a controversy.
—Ambrose Bierce
Topics: Impartiality
Projectile – n. the final arbiter in international disputes. Formerly these disputes were resolved by physical contact of the disputants with such arguments as the rudimentary logic of the times would supply – sword, spear, and so forth. With the growth of prudence in military affairs the projectile came more and more into favor, and is now held in high esteem by all. Its capital defect ( in Bierce’s day ) has been that it requires personal attendance at the point of launch.
—Ambrose Bierce
Topics: War
Romance is the fiction that owes no allegiance to the God of things as they are. In the novel the writer’s thought is tethered to probability, but in romance it ranges at will over the entire region of the imagination
—Ambrose Bierce
Topics: Romance
Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo
—Ambrose Bierce
Topics: Hypocrisy
Diary: A daily record of that part of one’s life which he can relate to himself without blushing.
—Ambrose Bierce
Topics: Books
Patience: A minor form of despair disguised as a virtue.
—Ambrose Bierce
Topics: Patience
Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
—Ambrose Bierce
Topics: Divorce
Love is a temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder.
—Ambrose Bierce
Topics: Marriage, Feelings, One liners, Love, Insanity, Disorder
Consult. To seek another’s approval of a course already decided on.
—Ambrose Bierce
Topics: Advice
Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
—Ambrose Bierce
Topics: Misfortune, Trouble, Jealousy
Lawyer, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
—Ambrose Bierce
Topics: Lawyers
Bore: a person who talks when you wish him to listen.
—Ambrose Bierce
Topics: Boredom, Bores
Patriotism: The first resort of a scoundrel.
—Ambrose Bierce
Topics: Patriotism
Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
—Ambrose Bierce
Topics: Science, Architecture
Deliberation. The act of examining one’s bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
—Ambrose Bierce
Topics: Reflection
Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of thinking he has got what he ought not to have, and is deprived of nothing except what was justly his due.
—Ambrose Bierce
Topics: Compromise
Acquaintance: a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate when he is rich or famous.
—Ambrose Bierce
Bigot, one who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
—Ambrose Bierce
Topics: Prejudice, Opinions
WINE and Fermented grape-juice known to the Womens Christian Union as liquor, sometimes as rum. Wine, madam, is Gods next best gift to man.
—Ambrose Bierce
Topics: Wine
Wondering Whom to Read Next?
Heywood Broun American Journalist
Arthur Brisbane American Editor
Shana Alexander American Journalist
Nathaniel Parker Willis American Poet, Playwright
Brenda Ueland American Journalist Memoirist
William Allen White American Editor
Marilyn Ferguson American Author
George Horace Lorimer American Editor
E. L. Doctorow American Writer
George Jean Nathan American Drama Critic