A dog owns nothing, yet is seldom dissatisfied.
If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.
—Andy Rooney (b.1919) American Writer, Humorist, TV Personality
I always disliked dogs, those protectors of cowards who lack the courage to fight an assailant themselves.
—August Strindberg (1849–1912) Swedish Playwright, Novelist, Essayist
Dogs are wise. They crawl away into a quiet corner and lick their wounds and do not rejoin the world until they are whole once more.
—Agatha Christie (1890–1976) British Novelist, Short-Story Writer, Playwright
Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.
—Franklin P. Jones
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
The nose of the bulldog has been slanted backwards so that he can breathe without letting go.
—Winston Churchill (1874–1965) British Head of State, Political leader, Historian, Journalist, Author
Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane.
A dog with two homes is never any good
The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs.
—Alphonse de Lamartine (1790–1869) French Poet, Politician, Historian
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
—Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw) (1818–85) American Humorist, Author, Lecturer
I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons.
—Will Rogers (1879–1935) American Actor, Rancher, Humorist
Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
—Ask Ann Landers (1918–2002) American Advice Columnist
Extraordinary creature! So close a friend, and yet so remote.
—Thomas Mann (1875–1955) German Novelist, Short Story Writer, Social Critic, Philanthropist, Essayist
In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn’t merely try to train him to be semi-human. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog.
—Edward Hoagland (b.1932) American Essayist, Novelist
If there was any petting to be done…he chose to do it. Often he would sit looking at me, and then, moved by a delicate affection, come and pull at my coat and sleeve until he could touch my face with his nose, and then go away contented.
—Charles Dudley Warner (1829–1900) American Essayist, Novelist
How many legs does a dog have, if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn’t make it a leg.
—Abraham Lincoln (1809–65) American Head of State
They never talk about themselves but listen to you while you talk about yourself, and keep up an appearance of being interested in the conversation.
—Jerome K. Jerome (1859–1927) English Humorous Writer, Novelist, Playwright
The Belief that man is outfitted with an immortal soul, differing altogether from the engines which operate the lower animals, is ridiculously unjust to them. The difference between the smartest dog and the stupidest man
—H. L. Mencken (1880–1956) American Journalist, Literary Critic
The dog was created especially for children. He is the god of frolic.
—Henry Ward Beecher (1813–87) American Clergyman, Writer
If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer.
—Alfred North Whitehead (1861–1947) English Mathematician, Philosopher
The factory of the future will have only two employees, a man and a dog. The man will be there to feed the dog. The dog will be there to keep the man from touching the equipment.
—Warren Bennis (1925–2014) American Business Academic, Author
You may drive a dog off the King’s armchair, and it will climb into the preacher’s pulpit; he views the world unmoved, unembarrassed, unabashed.
—Jean de La Bruyere (1645–96) French Satiric Moralist, Author
The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven, not man’s
—Mark Twain (1835–1910) American Humorist
No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does.
—Christopher Morley (1890–1957) American Novelist, Essayist
I’ve seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts.
—John Steinbeck (1902–68) American Novelist, Short Story Writer, Journalist
Who loves me will love my dog also.
To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs.
—Aldous Huxley (1894–1963) English Humanist, Pacifist, Essayist, Short Story Writer, Satirist
I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive.
—Gilda Radner (1946–89) American Comedian, Actress
By what right has the dog come to be regarded as a noble animal?. The more brutal and cruel and unjust you are to him the more your fawning and adoring slave he becomes; whereas, if you shamefully misuse a cat once she will always maintain a dignified reserve toward you afterward—you will never get her full confidence again.
—Mark Twain (1835–1910) American Humorist