You have to laugh and cry over and over again with someone before you feel comfortable.
I don’t excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.
Thank God we’re living in a country where the sky’s the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
Can we talk?
I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.
I have become my own version of an optimist. If I can’t make it through one door, I’ll go through another door—or I’ll make a door. Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
Topics: Adversity, Optimism
Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly—hurt, bitterness, grief, and, mostof all, fear.
My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.
I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, “Get the hell off my property”.
Wondering Whom to Read Next?
- Whoopi Goldberg American Comedian
- Jimmy Fallon American Comedian
- Bill Maher American Comedian, TV Personality
- Jerry Seinfeld American Comedian
- Buddy Hackett American Comedian
- Jonathan Winters American Comedian
- A. Whitney Brown American Comedian
- Ellen DeGeneres American Comedian, Television Host
- Rodney Dangerfield American Comedian
- Phyllis Diller American Actor