A perfect wife is one who helps her husband with the dishes.
A man is in general better pleased when he has a good dinner upon his table than when his wife talks Greek.
—Samuel Johnson (1709–84) British Essayist
If ever two were one, then surely we. If ever man were loved by wife, then thee.
—Anne Bradstreet (1612–72) American Poet
London is full of women who trust their husbands. One can always recognize them. They look so thoroughly unhappy.
—Oscar Wilde (1854–1900) Irish Poet, Playwright
Variability is one of the virtues of a woman. It avoids the crude requirement of polygamy. So long as you have one good wife you are sure to have a spiritual harem.
—G. K. Chesterton (1874–1936) English Journalist, Novelist, Essayist, Poet
That’s what a man wants in a wife, mostly; he wants to make sure one fool tells him he’s wise.
—George Eliot (Mary Anne Evans) (1819–80) English Novelist
I… chose my wife as she did her wedding-gown, not for a fine glossy surface, but such qualities as would wear well.
—Oliver Goldsmith (1730–74) Irish Novelist, Playwright, Poet
In your power, all the same. Subject to your will and your demands. No longer free! No! That’s a thought I’ll never endure! Never.
—Henrik Ibsen (1828–1906) Norwegian Playwright
Many a promising career has been wrecked by marrying the wrong sort of woman. The right sort of woman can distinguish between Creative Lassitude and plain shiftlessness.
—Robertson Davies (1913–95) Canadian Novelist, Playwright, Essayist
If you are really Master of your Fate, it shouldn’t make any difference to you whether Cleopatra or the Bearded Lady is your mate.
—Ogden Nash (1902–71) American Writer of Sophisticated Light Verse
He will hold thee, when his passion shall have spent its novel force, something better than his dog, a little dearer than his horse.
—Alfred, Lord Tennyson (1809–92) British Poet
The fact is that my wife if she had common sense would have more power over me than any other whatsoever, for my heart always alights upon the nearest perch.
—Lord Byron (George Gordon Byron) (1788–1824) English Romantic Poet
Those graceful acts, those thousand decencies, that daily flow from all her words and actions, mixed with love and sweet compliance, which declare unfeigned union of mind, or in us both one soul.
—John Milton (1608–74) English Poet, Civil Servant, Scholar, Debater
If I was your wife Sir, I’d poison you! Madam, if you were my wife, I’d let you!
—Winston Churchill (1874–1965) British Head of State, Political leader, Historian, Journalist, Author
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
—Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803–82) American Philosopher
Wives are people who feel they don’t dance enough.
—Groucho Marx (1890–1977) American Actor, Comedian, Singer
Nature meant me a wife, a silly harmless household Dove, fond without art; and kind without deceit.
—John Dryden (1631–1700) English Poet, Literary Critic, Playwright
I take my wife everywhere I go. She always finds her way back.
—Henny Youngman (1906–98) Anglo-American Comedian, Violinist
He knows little, who will tell his wife all he knows.
—Thomas Fuller (1608–61) English Cleric, Historian
It’s my old girl that advises. She has the head. But I never own to it before her. Discipline must be maintained.
—Charles Dickens (1812–70) English Novelist
To suckle fools, and chronicle small beer.
—William Shakespeare (1564–1616) British Playwright
The true index of a man’s character is the health of his wife.
—Cyril Connolly (1903–74) British Literary Critic, Writer
Never take a wife till thou hast a house (and a fire) to put her in.
—Benjamin Franklin (1706–90) American Political Leader, Inventor, Diplomat
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
A woman asking “Am I good? Am I satisfied?” is extremely selfish. The less women fuss about themselves, the less they talk to other women, the more they try to please their husbands, the happier the marriage is going to be.
—Barbara Cartland (1901–2000) English Popular Romantic Novelist
A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle.
—Charles Baudelaire (1821–67) French Poet, Art Critic, Essayist, Translator
A good wife and health is a mans best wealth.
A man would prefer to come home to an unmade bed and a happy woman than to a neatly made bed and an angry woman.
—Marlene Dietrich (1901–92) German-American Film Actress, Cabaret Performer
Adam knew Eve his wife and she conceived. It is a pity that this is still the only knowledge of their wives at which some men seem to arrive.
—F. H. Bradley (1846–1924 ) British Idealist Philosopher
In that second it dawned on me that I had been living here for eight years with a strange man and had borne him three children.
—Henrik Ibsen (1828–1906) Norwegian Playwright