Dorothy Parker (1893–1967,) née Rothschild, was an American short-story writer, poet, screenwriter, and critic who was well-known for her witty remarks, biting prose, and verse satires. She wrote book reviews and short stories for The New Yorker magazine, becoming one of its renowned wits. Her style of spontaneous wit and acerbic criticism has had a lasting influence.
Born in West End, near Long Beach, New Jersey, to Scottish-Jewish parents, Parker never finished high school. She began work in 1916 as a theatre reviewer for Vanity Fair and turned into a book reviewer for The New Yorker in 1927. Her first book of poems, Enough Rope (1927,) became a best-seller; this allowed her to quit her job and work freelance. Parker remained a leading contributor to The New Yorker. She was one of the founders of the Algonquin Round Table, an informal literary group.
Enough Rope, together with Sunset Gun (1928) and Death and Taxes (1931,) was collected in Not So Deep as a Well (1936.) Parker’s short prose pieces printed in Laments for the Living (1930) and After Such Pleasures (1933) were accumulated in Here Lies (1939.)
Parker also collaborated on several film scripts, including A Star is Born (1937) and The Little Foxes (1941.) Her extraordinary talent for witty epigrams is evident throughout her work.
A lifelong advocate of left-wing causes, Parker worked as a newspaper correspondent in Spain during the civil war. She left her estate to the civil rights leader Martin Luther King, Jr.
More: Wikipedia • READ: Works by Dorothy Parker
There’s a helluva distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Humor, Words, Wit
His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: People
By the time you swear you’re his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is
Infinite, undying –
Lady, make a note of this:
One of you is lying.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Love, Deception/Lying
Money cannot buy health, but I’d settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Health
Travel, trouble, music, art,
A kiss, a frock, a rhyme –
I never said they feed my heart,
But still they pass my time.
—Dorothy Parker
Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch is, and it darts away.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Love
The best way to keep children at home is to make home a pleasant atmosphere – and to let the air out of the tires.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Children, Home
Razors pain you; rivers are damp; acids stain you; and drugs cause cramp. Guns aren’t lawful; nooses give; gas smells awful; you might as well live.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Suicide
They laid their hands upon my head,
They stroked my cheek and brow;
And time could heal a hurt, they said,
And time could dim a vow.
And they were pitiful and mild
Who whispered to me then;
The heart that breaks in April, child;
Will mend in May again.
Oh, many a mended heart they knew;
So old they were, and wise.
And little did they have to do
To come to me with lies!
Who flings me silly talk of May
Shall meet a bitter soul;
For June was nearly spent away
Before my heart was whole.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Heart
Gratitude—the meanest and most sniveling attribute in the world.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Gratitude
Telegram to a friend who had just become a mother after a prolonged pregnancy: Good work, Mary. We all knew you had it in you
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Birth, Pregnancy
As only New Yorkers know, if you can get through the twilight, you’ll live through the night.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Difficulty
Women and elephants never forget.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Memories
Those who have mastered etiquette, who are entirely, impeccably right, would seem to arrive at a point of exquisite dullness.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Manners
The two most beautiful words in the English language are: “Check Enclosed.”
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Money, Words
Lips that taste of tears, they say,
Are the best for kissing.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Kiss, Crying
Some men break your heart in two,
Some men fawn and flatter,
Some men never look at you;
And that cleans up the matter.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Men
I don’t know much about being a millionaire, but I’ll bet I’d be darling at it.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Wealth
I might repeat to myself, slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound; if I can remember any of the damned things.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Quotations
Oh seek, my love, your newer way;
I’ll not be left in sorrow.
So long as I have yesterday
Go take your damned tomorrow!
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Procrastination
All I say is, nobody has any business to go around looking like a horse and behaving as if it were all right. You don’t catch horses going around looking like people, do you?
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: People
Enjoyed it! One more drink and I’d have been under the host.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Parties, Party
Art is a form of catharsis.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Art, Arts, Artists
Out in Hollywood, where the streets are paved with Goldwyn, the word
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Fame
Summer makes me drowsy. Autumn makes me sing. Winter’s pretty lousy, but I hate Spring.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Autumn
I shall stay the way I am because I do not give a damn.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Apathy
I never thought that heav’n would lose its blue
And sullen storm-clouds mask the gentle sky;
I never thought the rose’s velvet hue
Would pale and sicken, though we said good-by.
I never dreamed the lark would hush its note
As day succeeded ever-drearier day,
Nor knew the song that swelled the robin’s throat
Would fade to silence, when you went away.
I never knew the sun’s irradiant beams
Upon the brooding earth no more would shine,
Nor thought that only in my mocking dreams
Would happiness that once I knew be mine.
I never thought the slim moon, mournfully,
Would shroud her pallid self in murky night.
Dear heart, I never thought these things would be-
I never thought they would, and I was right.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Loss
Where’s the man could ease a heart, like a satin gown?
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Dress, Fashion
That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: “Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.”
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Death
This book is not to be tossed lightly aside, but to be hurled with great force.
—Dorothy Parker
Topics: Reading, Books
Wondering Whom to Read Next?
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