Inspirational Quotations

Inspirational Quotes by Woody Allen (American Film Actor, Director)

Woody Allen (b.1935,) born Allen Stewart Konigsberg, legally Heywood Allen, is an American film director, writer, actor, and occasional jazz clarinetist. Allen is one of America’s most prominent filmmakers—his very personal films humorously explore themes that have always obsessed him: neurosis, sexual inadequacy, death, and the meaning of life. He once stated that his one regret in life is that he is not someone else.

Born in Brooklyn, New York City, Allen got expelled from both New York University and City College. He turned to a professional writing career, at first for television and comedians. In 1964, he decided to become a stand-up comedian himself. Performing in clubs and on television, he developed the persona of a neurotic eccentric in a sophisticated world. He made his film début scripting and acting in the popular What’s New, Pussycat? (1965.)

Allen’s movie projects were vehicles for his stand-up routines: Take the Money and Run (1969,) Bananas (1971,) Everything You Always Wanted to Know about Sex … But Were Afraid to Ask (1972,) Sleeper (1973,) and Love and Death (1975.)

Allen gained distinction with Annie Hall (1977,) which won Academy Awards for Best Director, Best Script, and Best Picture, and Manhattan (1979.) His subsequent films include Stardust Memories (1980,) Broadway Danny Rose (1984,) Hannah and Her Sisters (1986,) Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989,) Alice (1990,) Bullets over Broadway (1994,) Mighty Aphrodite (1995,) Everyone Says I Love You (1996,) and Midnight in Paris (2011.)

Allen’s celebrity extended to his off-screen life as well. He has been married two times previously, and had romantic relationships with actresses Stacey Nelkin, Diane Keaton, and Mia Farrow. In 1992, reports emerged that the 57-year-old Allen was having an affair with Farrow’s 21-year-old adopted daughter Soon-Yi Previn—she became Allen’s third and current wife.

Allen’s notable works include Getting Even (1971,) The Complete Prose of Woody Allen (1992,) and Insanity Defense (2007.)

More: Wikipedia • READ: Works by Woody Allen

In Beverly Hills… they don’t throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Hollywood

Show business is not so much ‘dog eats dog’ as ‘dog doesn’t return other dog’s phone calls.’
—Woody Allen

A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said ‘no’.
—Woody Allen

I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year for cheating on my metaphysics final. You know, I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Philosophy

She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest in a yak.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Women

I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don’t want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen; I want to live on in my apartment.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Fame, Immortality, Accomplishment, Achievement

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
—Woody Allen

When we played softball, I’d steal second base, feel guilty and go back
—Woody Allen
Topics: Baseball

I’m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Gold

If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he wouldn’t be able to stop throwing up.
—Woody Allen

The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don’t have.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Gratitude, Appreciation, Blessings, Talent

Today I saw a red and yellow sunset and thought, how insignificant I am! Of course, I thought that yesterday too, and it rained.
—Woody Allen

A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Relationships

Cloquet hated reality but realized it was still the only place to get a good steak.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Reality

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Reason, Thought

Paranoia is knowing all the facts.
—Woody Allen

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Skepticism, Doubt, Give, Money, God

Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Fun

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better… while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Goodness, Sleep, Vice

Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought—particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Science, Space

Time is nature’s way of keeping everything from happening at once.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Time

Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Confidence

I am at two with nature.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Nature

The people who successfully delude themselves seem happier than the people who can’t.
—Woody Allen

You’ll live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Age

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Sex

Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Humankind, Sex

I don’t think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Parents

I’ve never been an intellectual but I have this look.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Intelligence, Intellectuals

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
—Woody Allen
Topics: Love

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