Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done.
—Andy Rooney (b.1919) American Writer, Humorist, TV Personality
The Next Computer: The hardware makes it a PC, the software makes it a workstation, the unit sales makes it a mainframe.
—Anonymous
Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy.
—Joseph Campbell (1904–87) American Mythologist, Writer, Lecturer
Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.
—Anonymous
Life was simple before World War II. After that, we had systems.
—Grace Hopper (1906–92) American Naval Officer, Mathematician
All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors.
—Anonymous
There will still be things that machines cannot do. They will not produce great art or great literature or great philosophy; they will not be able to discover the secret springs of happiness in the human heart; they will know nothing of love and friendship.
—Bertrand A. Russell (1872–1970) British Philosopher, Mathematician, Social Critic
Computers in the future will weigh no more than 1.5 tons.
—Unknown
I’m not against machines, as are some people who feel that the computer is leading us back into the jungle…I’m against machines only when the convenience they afford to some people is regarded as more important than the inconvenience they cause to all.
In short, I don’t think computers should wear the pants or make the decisions. They are deficient in humor, they are not intuitive, and they are not aware of the imponderables. The men who feed them seem to believe that everything is made out of ponderables, which isn’t the case. I read a poem once that a computer had written, but didn’t care much for it. It seemed to me I could write a better one myself, if I were to put my mind to it.
—E. B. White (1985–99) American Essayist, Humorist
If a trainstation is where the train stops, what’s a workstation..?
—Anonymous
We’re flooding people with information. We need to feed it through a processor. A human must turn information into intelligence or knowledge. We’ve tended to forget that no computer will ever ask a new question.
—Grace Hopper (1906–92) American Naval Officer, Mathematician
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn’t get bigger or heavier.
—Bill Gates (b.1955) American Businessperson, Entrepreneur, Philanthropist, Author
Computer science only indicates the retrospective omnipotence of our technologies. In other words, an infinite capacity to process data (but only data—i.e. the already given) and in no sense a new vision. With that science, we are entering an era of exhaustivity, which is also an era of exhaustion.
—Jean Baudrillard (1929–2007) French Sociologist, Philosopher
If you don’t know how to do something, you don’t know how to do it with a computer.
—Unknown
Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest.
—Isaac Asimov (1920–92) Russian-born American Writer, Scientist
Computers will never take the place of books. You can’t stand on a floppy disk to reach a high shelf.
—Sam Ewing (b.1949) American Sportsperson
The sad thing about artificial intelligence is that it lacks artifice and therefore intelligence.
—Jean Baudrillard (1929–2007) French Sociologist, Philosopher
Whom computers would destroy, they must first drive mad.
—Anonymous
Where the ENIAC is equipped with 18,000 vacuum tubes and weighs 30 tons, computers in the future may have only 1,000 vacuum tubes and weigh only 1 1/2 tons.
—Anonymous
It is hardly surprising that children should enthusiastically start their education at an early age with the Absolute Knowledge of computer science; while they are unable to read, for reading demands making judgments at every line. Conversation is almost dead, and soon so too will be those who knew how to speak.
—Guy Debord (1931–94) French Philosopher
If you can’t beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing.
—Anonymous
What goes up must come down. Ask any system administrator.
—Anonymous
Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
—Pablo Picasso (1881–1973) Spanish Painter, Sculptor, Artist
Computers are magnificent tools for the realization of our dreams, but no machine can replace the human spark of spirit, compassion, love, and understanding.
—Louis V. Gerstner Jr. (b.1942) American Businessman
I see no reason why anyone would want a computer in their home.
—Kenneth H. Olsen (1926–2011) American Engineer, Businessperson
I don’t think there’s anything unique about human intellience. All the nuerons in the brain that make up perceptions and emotions operate in a binary fashion.
—Bill Gates (b.1955) American Businessperson, Entrepreneur, Philanthropist, Author
Who’s General Failure and why’s he reading my disk?
—Anonymous
The robot is going to lose. Not by much. But when the final score is tallied, flesh and blood is going to beat the damn monster.
—George Goodman (b.1930) American Economist, Author
Want to make your computer go really fast? Throw it out a window.
—Anonymous
I think computer viruses should count as life. Maybe it says something about human nature, that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive.
—Stephen Hawking (1942–2018) English Theoretical Physicist, Cosmologist, Academic