Fatherhood is pretending the present you love the most is soap-on-a-rope.
—Bill Cosby
Topics: Fathers
The very first law in advertising is to avoid the concrete promise and cultivate the delightfully vague.
—Bill Cosby
Topics: Promises, Advertising
You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.
—Bill Cosby
Topics: Laughter, Humor
Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.
—Bill Cosby
Topics: Family, Earth
There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.
—Bill Cosby
Topics: Humor
Father…knows exactly what those boys at the mall have in their depraved little minds because he once owned such a depraved little mind himself. In fact, if he thinks enough about the plans that he used to have for young girls, the father not only will support his wife in keeping their daughter home but he might even run over to the mall and have a few of those boys arrested.
—Bill Cosby
Topics: Father
If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.
—Bill Cosby
Topics: Father, Fathers
Even though your kids will consistently do the exact opposite of what you’re telling them to do, you have to keep loving them just as much.
—Bill Cosby
Topics: Children
A word to the wise ain’t necessary—it’s the stupid ones who need the advice.
—Bill Cosby
Topics: Advice
For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked.
—Bill Cosby
Topics: Marriage, Miracles
The main goal of the future is to stop violence. The world is addicted to it.
—Bill Cosby
Topics: Goal
Men and women belong to different species, and communication between them is a science still in its infancy.
—Bill Cosby
Topics: Men & Women, Communication
A word to the wise isn’t necessary, it is the stupid ones who need all the advice.
—Bill Cosby
Topics: Advice
Anyone can dabble, but once you’ve made that commitment, your blood has that particular thing in it, and it’s very hard for people to stop you.
—Bill Cosby
Topics: Commitment
Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing.
—Bill Cosby
Topics: Sleep
Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.
—Bill Cosby
Topics: Desire
There is no labor a person does that is undignified; if they do it right.
—Bill Cosby
Topics: Quality
Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.
—Bill Cosby
Topics: Humor, Survival
In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.
—Bill Cosby
Topics: Entrepreneurs
Women don’t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think—in a deeper voice.
—Bill Cosby
Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them.
—Bill Cosby
Topics: Best
The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods.
—Bill Cosby
Topics: Marriage
Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.
—Bill Cosby
Topics: Babies
Gray hair is God’s graffiti.
—Bill Cosby
The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet.
—Bill Cosby
Topics: Parents
There’s no labor a man can do that’s undignified, if he does it right.
—Bill Cosby
I wasn’t always black… There was this freckle, and it got bigger and bigger.
—Bill Cosby
Topics: Race, Racism
We’re the geniuses of the house because only a person intelligent as we could fake such stupidity.
—Bill Cosby
Parents are not quite interested injustice, they are interested in quiet.
—Bill Cosby
Topics: Parents, Parenting
I recently turned fifty, which is young for a tree, midlife for an elephant, and ancient for a quarter miler, who’s son now says, “Dad, I just can’t run the quarter with you anymore unless I bring something to read.”
—Bill Cosby
Topics: Age
Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child is eight or nine, he has developed a passion for his own music that is even stronger than his passions for procrastination and weird clothes.
—Bill Cosby
Topics: Music
Nothing I’ve ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father to my children.
—Bill Cosby
Topics: Joy
No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I’m not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.
—Bill Cosby
Topics: Parents, Parenting
Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don’t believe the kids should be given homework
—Bill Cosby
Topics: Sex
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